He wandered down one Christmas day To skate upon the creek, And there, upon the smoothest ice, He slid around so quick That people were amazed to see Him do it up so slick. [Illustration] The exercise excited thirst; And so, to get a drink, He cut an opening in the ice And lay down on the brink. He said, "I'll dip my lips right in And suck it up, I think." [Illustration] And while his nose was thus immersed Six inches in the stream, A very hungry pickerel was Attracted by its gleam; And darting up, he gave a snap, And Keyser gave a scream. [Illustration] Tim Keyser then was well assured He had a splendid bite. To pull his victim up he jerked And tugged with all his might; But that disgusting pickerel had The better of the fight. [Illustration] And just as Mr. Keyser thought His nose was cut in two, The pickerel gave its tail a twist And pulled Tim Keyser through, And he was scudding through the waves The first thing that he knew. [Illustration] Then onward swam that savage fish With swiftness toward its nest, Still chewing Mr. Keyser's nose; While Mr. Keyser guessed What sort of policy would suit His circumstances best. [Illustration] Just then his nose was tickled with A spear of grass close by; Then came an awful sneeze, which knocked The pickerel into pi, And blew its bones, the ice and waves Two hundred feet on high! [Illustration] Tim Keyser swam up to the top A breath of air to take; And finding broken ice, he hooked His nose upon a cake, And gloried in a nose which could Such a concussion make. [Illustration] And thus he drifted slowly on Until he reached the shore; And creeping out all dripping wet, He very roundly swore To use that crimson nose as bait For pickerel no more. [Illustration] His Christmas turkey on that day He tackled with a vim, And thanked his stars as, shuddering, He thought upon his swim, That that wild pickerel had not Spent Christmas eating him! [Illustration] CHAPTER XVII. A DISMAL SORT OF DAY--A FEW ABLE REMARKS ABOUT UMBRELLAS--THE UMBRELLA IN A HUMOROUS ASPECT--THE CALAMITY THAT BEFEL COLONEL COOMBS--AN AMBITIOUS BUT MISERABLE MONARCH-INFLUENCE OF UMBRELLAS ON THE WEATHER--AN IMPROVED WEATHER SYSTEM--A LITTLE NONSENSE--JUDGE PITMAN'S VIEWS OF WEATHER OF VARIOUS KINDS. [Illustration]