Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd CornerClark, Charles Heber
General
Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd Corner
Clark, Charles Heber
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories
Cooley had a kind of "den" of his own in the garret. He used to shut
himself up in this for hours together while he perfected his inventions
or conducted his chemical investigations. His last idea was that he
could put together a compound which would rule gunpowder out of the
market, and make the destruction of armies and navies comparatively
easy. And so, for a time, Mrs. Cooley, while bustling about in the
vicinity of the den, instead of hearing the buzz and hum of wheels and
the click of the hammer, would sniff terrific smells, evolved by the
irrepressible Cooley from the contents of his laboratory. And one day
there came a fearful explosion. The roof was torn off and reduced to
splinters, and Thomas Cooley had disappeared.
Vandyke, as I have said, is in New Castle county, Delaware, but it is
also close to the boundary line between Delaware and the counties of
Cecil and Kent, in Maryland.
And so it was not surprising when, a few minutes after the explosion,
persons in all three of the counties perceived fragments of a
demoralized and disintegrated human being tumbling from the air. The
pieces of the unhappy victim of the disaster were unevenly distributed
between New Castle, Cecil and Kent. The first named got twelve of the
fragments. There were persons who thought Cooley might have showed even
greater partiality for his own county, but I do not blame him; he was in
a measure controlled by circumstances.
[Illustration]
I think the friends of the coroner complained with greatest bitterness.
He was an enthusiastic coroner. He had been known, when one of Dr.
Tobias Jones's relatives returned from Egypt with a mummy embalmed
fifteen hundred years before the Christian era, to seize that ancient
subject of Pharaoh and summon a jury, and sit upon it, and brood over it
and think. And it is rumored that he put that jury up to bringing in a
verdict, "The death of the deceased ensued from cause or causes unknown,
at the hands of persons also unknown." His enemies at the next election
openly asserted that he charged the county with the usual fee, with
compound interest from the time of Moses.
So of course when Thomas Cooley went up, _he_ wasn't sorry; and the more
Cooley was scattered over New Castle county, the more serene and affable
the coroner felt. When he had selected his jury and looked around him a
little in order to command the situation, he perceived that Cooley had
put into his hands a tolerably good thing. The coroner spent the next
three days holding an inquest upon each of the twelve fragments of the
deceased. He empaneled a new jury every time, and then proceeded
cautiously and deliberately in each case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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