Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd CornerClark, Charles Heber
General
Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd Corner
Clark, Charles Heber
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories
6. Arguments, introducing the story of the Sussex county farmer
who was discouraged because his wife was perfidious. Before he was
married she vowed over and over again that she could chop four
cords of wood a day, but after the ceremony the farmer found he was
deceived. The treacherous woman could not chop more than two cords
and a half, and so the dream of the husband was dissipated, and he
demanded a divorce as the only balm for the wounds which lacerated
his heart. Let this serve to illustrate the point that our political
enemies have deceived us with promises to reduce the debt, to
institute reforms, etc., etc., none of which they have kept, and now
we must have the government separated from them by such a divorce
as will be decreed to-morrow, etc., etc.
7. Peroration, working in if possible the story of Commodore
Scudder's dog, which, while out with its master one day, pointed at
some partridges. The commodore was about to fire, but he suddenly
received orders to go off on a three years' cruise, so he dropped
his gun, left the dog standing there and went right to sea. When he
returned, three years later, he went back to the field, and there
was his gun, there was the skeleton of the dog still standing and
pointing just as he had left it, and a little farther on were the
skeletons of the partridges. Show how our adversaries in their
relations to the negro question resemble that dog. We came away
years ago and left them pointing at the negro question, and we come
back now to find that they are at it yet. Work this in carefully,
and conclude in such a manner as to excite frantic applause.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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