"I have searched my own heart, Mr. Brown; and I am sure of its
answer. I never, never, can be your wife, so long as we both live."
"That is sufficient, Dora. I am rightly punished for building my
hopes and my happiness upon the sandy foundations of an earthly
love. They perish, and leave me desolate; but, among the ruins, I
yet can say, 'It is rightly and justly done.'"
The bitter pain in his voice pierced to Dora's very heart, and
wounded it almost as sorely as she had wounded his. The rare tears
overflowed her eyes; and, pressing close to his side, she laid a
hand upon his own, saying,--
"Oh, forgive me!-say you forgive me! Indeed, I must do and say what
conscience bids me, at all cost."
"It is not for me to gainsay such a precept as that," said the
chaplain.
"But I will come to you, and live as long as you want me. I will be
everything but wife. Say I may do this, or I shall never forgive
myself. Say I may make some amends for the pain I have given you."
The young man laughed bitterly, then, turning suddenly, seized both
her hands, and looked deep into her eyes.
"My poor child," cried he, "my innocent lamb, who turns from the
shepherd because she will not be guided, and yet is all unfit to
guide herself! Do not even you, Dora, guileless and unworldly as you
are, see how impossible it would be for a young and beautiful girl
to live with a man who admires and loves her openly, without such
scandal, as should ruin both in the world's eyes, even if they saved
their own souls unspotted?"
Dora snatched away her hands, and her whole face flamed with a
sudden shame.
She was learning fast to-day in the book of human passion,
suffering, and sin.
Without comment upon her embarrassment, the chaplain went on:--
"No, Dora: I must lay aside the dream of four sweet years, and take
up my lonely life without disguise or embellishment. I cannot
dispute your decision. I will not by one word or look urge you to
change it; for I too deeply respect the truthfulness of your
character to dream that it is capable of change. I do not say that I
forgive you, for you have done nothing calling for forgiveness; and
yet, if your tender heart should suffer, in thinking of my
suffering, remember always that what you have to-day said has
increased my respect and esteem for you fourfold: and, if it has
also added to the bitterness of my disappointment, I will not have
you reproach yourself; for I would rather reverence you as the wife
of another than to claim you as my own, and know you untrue to
yourself. And now, dear, the subject is closed utterly and forever."
CHAPTER XXXVI.
TREASURE-TROVE.
IT was a balmy September evening, some weeks after Mr. Brown's
return to Ohio, when Karl, or, as he was now generally styled, Dr.
Windsor, standing beside his horse, in the quiet Main Street of
Greenfield, saw Dr. Gershom riding lazily into town, accompanied by
a sturdy, good-looking lad, also on horseback, whom Karl failed to
recognize.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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