Perhaps it was a vague sense of loneliness in these fancies; perhaps
it was the lingering longing for something she had lost even from
her memory, and yet not wholly from her heart, where, as we all
know, linger loves for which we no longer have a name or a thought;
perhaps it was only the dim reflex of that agony consuming her
mother's heart, and the earnestness with which it longed for her:
but something there was, that, at intervals, cast a sudden shadow
over Sunshine's heart; something that made her pale and still, and
deepened the dimples at the corners of her mouth, until each might
have held a tear. At these times, she would always steal away by
herself if possible; sometimes, and especially if the stars were
out, to sit with folded hands, gazing at the sky; sometimes to lie
upon her little bed, her eyes fixed on vacancy, until the bright
tears gathered, and rolled slowly down her cheeks: but, oftenest of
all, she would call Argus, and, with one hand upon his glossy head,
wander away to the dim forest, and seated at the foot of one of
those patriarchal trees, the hound lying close beside her, would
talk to him as she never talked to human ears.
Once, Karl, returning from an expedition to a distant part of the
farm, saw her thus, and half in fun, half in curiosity, crept up
behind the great oak at whose foot she sat, and listened.
"And up there in heaven, Argus," she was saying, "it's all so
beautiful! and no one ever speaks loud or cross; and every one has
shining white clothes, and flowers on their heads; and some one is
there-I don't know-I guess it's an angel; but she's got soft hands,
and such pretty shiny hair, and eyes all full of loving me. I dream
about her sometimes; but I don't know who she is: and you mustn't
tell, Argus. Sometimes I want to die, so as to go to heaven and look
for her. Argus, do you want to go to heaven?"
The brown eyes said that Argus wished whatever she did; and Sunshine
continued:--
"Well, some day we'll go. I don't know just how; I don't believe
we'd find the way if we went now: but some day I shall know, and
then I'll tell you. Sometimes I feel so lonesome, Argus! oh, so
dreadful homesick! but I don't now. You're a real little comforter,
Argus. That's what Dora called me the other night when Kitty was
cross: and Dora cried a little when she came to bed, and didn't know
I was awake; and I kissed her just so, Argus, and so."
In the game of romps and kisses that ensued, Karl stole away, and,
after repeating the child's prattle to Dora, said thoughtfully,--
"There's something strange about her, Dora; something different from
any of us. She seems so finely and delicately made, and as if one
rude jar might destroy the whole tone of her life. If ever a
creature was formed of peculiar, instead of common clay, it is
Sunshine."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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