Paddy at Home ("Chez Paddy")Mandat-Grancey, E. (Edmond), baron de
History
Paddy at Home ("Chez Paddy")
Mandat-Grancey, E. (Edmond), baron de
Ireland -- Description and travel
All philosophers agree that the body is a machine given to man for
his use. English ideas about the method of employing this machine are
very different from our own. A Frenchman, as a rule, is not anxious
to make any exceptional demands upon its strength. His great desire
is that the machine should work properly and without requiring too
much care. If on days when he feels so inclined he can walk twelve
or fifteen miles without fatigue; if at the fair at Saint Cloud he
can unhook an honourable number with a blow on the Turk’s head, he
is perfectly satisfied. And if any one came and said to him, “Place
yourself under my directions; I will make you rise early and go to bed
early, although you like to rise late and sit up late: I will make you
walk quickly six or seven hours a day, after which I will exterminate
you with exercises on the dumb-bells; I will prevent your eating when
you are hungry and drinking when you are thirsty; but thanks to my
rules you will be able to do thirty miles without noticing it; at the
next fair at Saint Cloud you will when you play give such a blow to the
Turk’s head that the whole machine will be reduced to matchwood, and
if you will accept a pair of the running breeches which Mr. Marseille
offers for the use of amateurs, you will beat all his pupils in turn,
amongst the applause of the idolatrous crowd;” I would bet heavily
that ninety-nine Frenchmen out of a hundred would reply to this vile
tempter--
“A thousand thanks! But first of all, I have a number of more
interesting and amusing things to do than any of those you propose for
me. I have only one life, and should be miserable if I used it in so
wearisome a fashion. And lastly, if I must tell you the whole truth, it
is possible that the prospect you open out to me may be very attractive
to certain people, but it leaves me quite indifferent! Allow me, then,
to remain as I am!”
An Englishman would probably accept the bargain at once. I was wrong
to use the conditional. Two-thirds of the English, at least of those
who belong to the upper classes of society, look up to this ideal from
their earliest youth. Amongst our neighbours the truest happiness in
reality consists in the enjoyment and exercise of physical strength.
Incontestably that is the quality that they most appreciate. I have
seen many Englishmen, thoroughly exasperated against Mr. Gladstone
because of his Radicalism, allow their anger to melt away when they
remember that although nearly eighty years old, he can still cut down
trees at Hawarden.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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