It crept with a tender soothing into Paddy’s aching heart also as she
silently threaded her way through the shrubs and gravestones to the
spot where the flowers lay. The peacefulness of it all, the sense of a
work well done and all Nature offering tribute—her sure and certain
hope that it was indeed well with her father—kept her eyes serene and
her face calm, although there was a drawn look about her mouth that
went to the aunties’ hearts.
When she reached the grave, she stopped and tenderly re-arranged the
flowers, freeing some that had become twisted or crushed, and giving
others more room to breathe.
“Daddy would not like any of you to get hurt through him,” she
whispered, “and you must just try and keep fresh as long as possible.”
When she had finished she stood up, and a sudden terrible sense of loss
enfolded her.
“Oh, daddy, perhaps you’ll be lonely in Heaven,” she whispered
brokenly. “It doesn’t seem possible you can be happy without mother and
Eileen and me. We’re so terribly lonely without you here. I’m so afraid
God won’t be able to comfort you without us up there. Only, perhaps, in
some way, you are with us still. I expect you will be our guardian
angel now, and you’ll understand all the things that are so strange and
mysterious to us; and you’ll know about the glad meeting coming, and
how beautiful it will all be some day. I know you won’t forget or
change, daddy, and I’m glad we should have the pain instead of you;
yet, how I’d love you just to come and tell me that it’s all beautiful,
and you’re not lost and lonely among so many strange angels.
“I know it’s all right, daddy, I mustn’t talk like this, and you’re not
really far away at all. I can feel you quite close, only I can’t see
you. Daddy! daddy! how shall I bear to live for years and years without
seeing your dear face,” and she broke down into low, pitiful weeping.
In the moonlight another form could be seen approaching, but Paddy was
not aware of it until an arm was slipped through hers, and a big,
sunburnt hand closed over her small one. She knew at once that it was
Jack, but for some moments neither of them spoke. At last he cleared
his throat and said huskily:
“Your uncle has been asking for you, Paddy. I came to look for you.”
“What does he want?” she asked wonderingly. Jack hesitated a little. At
last he said: “I think it is something you have to be told. I’m a
little afraid it’s bad news.”
She started and turned a shade paler. Then she glanced down at the
flowers.
“It seems as this were surely enough,” she breathed half to herself.
“I wish I could help you, Paddy,” he burst out. “I wish I could help
you all. If you only knew how I hate and loathe myself for having
wasted all these years.”
“Poor Jack!” she said gently, and stroked the big brown hand.
“You must go now,” he said. “Your uncle is waiting in the library. Will
you come out again afterward?”
“Yes. Wait for me by the boat-house,” and she turned away and crossed
the churchyard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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