Paradise Garden: The Satirical Narrative of a Great ExperimentGibbs, George
General
Paradise Garden: The Satirical Narrative of a Great Experiment
Gibbs, George
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Satire
From there we went to the museum to look over the specimens, and in a
moment Una and Jerry were deep in a butterfly talk. There Jack and I
left them, taking Mrs. Habberton into the main hall, where I rang for
one of the maids who showed her to her room.
"Well," I asked of Jack. "What do you think of her?"
"What I think is of course a matter of no importance to Jerry. But
since you ask, I don't mind telling you that I love her to
distraction. Where are the boy's eyes? His ears? And all the rest of
his receptive organs? If I were ten years younger--" and he patted his
_embonpoint_ regretfully, "I'd ask something of her charity, something
immediate and practical. She should found the John K. Ballard Home,
Pope, a want of mine for many years. But, alas! She has eyes only for
Jerry."
"Do you really think so?" I asked.
"Yes, I do. And he's not worth bothering about. He ought to be shot,
offhand."
"I entirely agree with you," I smiled.
Dinner that night was gay and most informal. Jack was at his best and
gave us in inimitable satire a description of a luncheon at Newport in
honor of a prize chow dog attended by all the high-bred pups of
Bellview Avenue, including Jack's own bull terrier Scotty, which in an
inadvertent moment devoured the small Pekingese of Jack's nearest
neighbor, a dereliction of social observance which caused the complete
and permanent social ostracism of Scotty--and Jack.
"How terrible!" said Una.
"It was, really, but it was a kind of poetic canine justice, you know.
The Pekingese just stared at Scotty and stared without wagging his
tail. Very impolite, not wagging your tail at a luncheon. Scotty grew
embarrassed and angry and then--just took him at a gulp. It was the
easiest way out."
"Or _in_," I suggested.
"Scotty is naturally polite. He never _could_ abide a tail that
wouldn't wag."
"Nor can I," said Una with a laugh. "Dogs' tails _must_ be meant to
wag, or what are they there for? I wish people had tails and then you
could tell whether they were pleasant or not."
"Some of 'em have," said Jack. "Hoofs too--and horns."
"I don't believe that," she laughed.
Jerry took no animated part in the conversation except when we spoke
of Una's work. Then he waxed eloquent until Una stopped him. Mrs.
Habberton, I think, watched Jerry a little dubiously as though there
was something about him that she couldn't understand. Some feminine
instinct was waking. But Una's cheerfulness and interest in all things
was unabated. We three men smoked--I, too, for I had lately fallen
from grace--with the ladies' permission in the drawing-room where Una
played upon the piano and sang. I don't think that Jerry had known
about her music for he had said nothing of it to me, and when her
voice began softly:
"Oh doux printemps d'autrefois"--
Massenet's "Elegie," as I afterwards learned--a hush fell over the
room and we three men sat staring at the sweet upturned profile, as
her lovely throat gave forth the tender sad refrain:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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