Paradise Garden: The Satirical Narrative of a Great ExperimentGibbs, George
General
Paradise Garden: The Satirical Narrative of a Great Experiment
Gibbs, George
Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Satire
"A night or two later he had an experience of another sort. It was
after the theater, the least noxious play I could discover on the
bills. Two women met us in a dark cross street. I saw Jerry stop and
stare at one of them. That was unusual. I urged him to go on but he
stopped and listened.
"'In an awful hurry, ain't you, dearie?' one of the girls asked.
"'Why, no, not at all,' says Jerry, politely taking off his hat. And
then as her appellation struck him: 'I think you must have mistaken me
for someone else.'
"The girl was a little puzzled.
"'Aw, yer stringin' me,' she said.
"'Stringing?' asked Jerry.
"'Cut it out. You know what I mean well enough'. Come along,' and she
moved a pace away.
"Jerry followed. 'I'd be glad to come if I can be of any assistance.'
"'Assistance,' laughed the girl.
"'Did you hear that, Geraldine?'
"And with that they both burst into roars of laughter.
"Jerry's ignorance of things made him keenly sensitive to ridicule.
"'I think you're very impolite,' he said with dignity.
"'Aw, go chase yourself,' said Geraldine and vanished into the shadows
with her companion.
"That interview took a lot of explaining. In fact, all the way to
Jerry's house the mystery of the girls' behavior hung like a cloud
over him. 'Do you know, Jack,' he said as we were parting, 'I think
that girl was mad--quite mad.'"
"Couldn't you have prevented that meeting?" I asked.
"I didn't try. Besides, Jerry is a persistent chap. When I asked him
why he stopped, he said it was because the girl looked like somebody
he was hunting for."
"Who? I can't imagine."
"He said her name was Una Smith."
"Oh, yes. The minx who slipped into Horsham Manor. I told you about
her. But her name isn't Smith."
"Jerry has been looking for her." He laughed. "He thought at first, he
said, he'd see her on the street, but was surprised to find the city
so large. He was a little disappointed. But I think he's forgotten.
There's safety in numbers."
"Then he doesn't know anything yet?"
"Bless your heart! I'd no more think of teaching Jerry filth than I
would my own sister. But by the Lord Harry, he's an inquisitive cuss.
He's learning that life isn't all beer and skittles, has felt the
skinny talons of poverty on his elbow and has heard a truck-driver
swear in the approved New York manner. That in itself was a liberal
education. The worst of it was that the chap happened to be swearing
at Jerry."
He chuckled at the memory.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Jerry jumped over the wheel, caught the man by the collar of his coat
and threw him into the street. He was a big 'un too."
Ballard lingered provokingly in the narrative, which was interesting
me greatly.
"And then?" I asked.
"The fellow rose, covered with slime, looking vicious.
"'What did you mean taking God's name in vain?' says Jerry sternly.
"'I'll show you, you--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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