Parents and childrenMason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Philosophy
Parents and children
Mason, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Maria)
Child rearing; Education -- Parent participation
“Agnes, come here, and hold up your pinafore!” and Agnes trotted up to
his side, her pinafore held up very much to receive the morning dole
of crumbs for the birds; presently, she came back radiant with the joy
of having given the birds a good breakfast, and we had no more sulky
fits that day. This went on for a fortnight or so, with fair but not
perfect success. Whenever her father or I was present, we caught the
emotion before the child was conscious of it, and succeeded in turning
her thoughts into some pleasant channel. But poor nurse has had bad
hours with Agnes; there would sit the child, pale and silent, for hours
together, doing nothing because she liked to do it, but only because
she was made. And, once the fit had settled down, thick and steady as
a London fog, neither her father nor I could help in the least. Oh, the
inconceivable settled cloudiness and irresponsiveness of that sweet
child face!
Our tactics were at fault. No doubt they helped so far as they went.
We managed to secure bright days that might otherwise have been cloudy
when we happened to be present at the first rise of the sullen mood.
But it seemed impossible to bring about so long an abstinence from
sullen fits as would eradicate the _habit_. We pictured to ourselves
the dreary life that lay before our pretty little girl; the sort of
insulation, the distrust of her sweetness, to which even one such
sullen fit would give rise; worse, the isolation which accompanies this
sort of temper, and the anguish of repentance to follow. And then, I
know, madness is often bred of this strong sense of injured personality.
It is not a pleasant thing to look an evil in the face. Whether or no
“a little knowledge is a dangerous,” certainly, it is a trying thing.
If we could only have contented ourselves with, “Oh, she’ll grow out of
it by-and-by,” we could have put up with even a daily cloud. But these
forecasts of our little girl’s future made the saving of the child at
_any_ cost our most anxious care.
“I’ll tell you what, Mary; we must strike out a new line. In a general
way, I do believe it’s best to deal with a child’s faults without
making him aware that he has them. It fills the little beings with a
ridiculous sense of importance to have anything belonging to _them_,
even a fault. But in this case, I think, we shall have to strike home
and deal with _the cause_ at least as much as with _the effects_, and
that, chiefly, because we have not effects entirely under our control.”
“But, Edward, what if there is no cure? What if this odious temper were
_hereditary_--our precious child’s inheritance from those who should
have brought her only good?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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