Nature, continuous ME! Saltness, and vigorous, never-torpid yeast of ME! Florid, unceasing, for ever expansive; Not schooled, not dizened, not washed and powdered; Strait-laced not at all; far otherwise than polite; Not modest, nor immodest; Divinely tanned and freckled; gloriously unkempt; Ultimate yet unceasing; capricious though determined; Speak as thou listest, and tell the askers that which they seek to know. Thy speech to them will be not quite intelligible. Never mind! utter thy wild common-places; Yawp them loudly, shrilly; Silence with shrill noise the lisps of the foo-foos. Answer in precise terms of barbaric vagueness, The question that the _Fun_ editor hath sparked through Atlantic cable To W..T W..TM..N, the speaker of the password primeval; The signaller of the signal of democracy; The seer and hearer of things in general; The poet translucent; fleshy, disorderly, sensually inclined; Each tag and part of whom is a miracle----. (_Thirteen pages of MS. relating to_ MR. W..T W..TM.N _are here omitted_). Rhapsodically state the fact that is and is not; That is not, being past; that is, being eternal; If indeed it ever was, which is exactly the point in question. ⁂ The fact, rhapsodically stated, occupies twenty-six more pages of MS., but is left in as much doubt at the end as it was in at the beginning.--Ed. _Fun_. SONG OF THE UNSUCCESSFUL STOCK EXCHANGE SPECULATOR (_Apropos of certain recent failures_). Break, break, break! It's a serious thing to see, And I wish I could manage to utter The cheques that are forged by me! Oh well for the bill-broking cad That is able to toddle away! Oh well for the discounting lad That goes to no Botany Bay! The detective police go on, To find him whose name's on the bill-- And it's oh for a whiff of Havannah brand, And a glass of the wine that is still! Break, break, break! It's little of me you will see; For the tender touch of detective's hand May some day be felt by me. From _Faust and 'Phisto_, 1876. * * * * * _Tithonus_ was the subject of two long prize parodies, concerning Lord Beaconsfield, which appeared in _The World_, July 30, 1879. The opening stanzas of the first parody are now of almost historical interest:--