Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I
Parodies
All that set his heart a-longing,
Longing with the wish to crib them.
* * * * *
XIII.
DROP O' WATHER'S DEPARTURE.
Now remains for me to tell of
How he ended, Drop o' Wather;
What befell him, after all his
Knowing doings in the course of
His career, his life in London.
He had run his rigs so clever,
He had risked so very closely,
He had just avoided Newgate,
He had narrowly 'scaped hanging;
And a dream he had one midnight,
Brought him to a sense of danger.
Thus he dreamed; 'twas really awful.
Not far off from Bedford Bury,
By the muddy Big-Thame-Water,
At the doorway of his lodging,
Thought he stood one rainy morning,
Thought he stood there, lounging idly,
Watching fall the sooty raindrops
From the eaves and roofs of houses,
Watching fill the dirty puddles,
Splashed and speckled with the drizzle;
Flowed in filthy streams the gutters,
Flowed the spouts as they ran over;
Pouring, pelting, came the shower.
* * * * *
Through the alley, sudden, briskly,
Something in the hazy distance,
Something in the misty morning,
Came along the dripping pavement,
Now seemed hurrying, now seemed hasting,
Coming nearer, nearer, nearer.
Was it Dingledong, the dustman?
Was it Twopenny, the postman?
Or the cobbler, Shoe-shoe-mender,
Or the milkman, Water-well-it,
With the raindrops dripping, dashing
Profitably in the milk-cans?
It was neither milkman, dustman,
Cobbler, postman, none of those men,
Coming on that misty morning;
But a set of sturdy fellows,
Fast advancing up the alley,
Striding, splashing through the raindrops,
Come with warrant strictly formal,
From the distant Police-office,
From Marlborough Street that morning,
Come with magistrate's command to
Apprehend and promptly take up
Drop o' Wather for his trial.
Then he thought he dreamed the scene of
His conviction, condemnation;
How he saw the Court dense crowded,
Crowded with indignant faces;
How he saw the dock, where he stood,
How he saw the Bench, where Judge sat,
How he saw the box for jury,
Where the twelve sat looking fateful;
Saw the Judge rise up and cover
With black cap his hair of silver;
Heard the word of solemn verdict,--
"Guilty!" Words of fearful sentence,--
"Hanged by neck," and "dead, dead, dead," last.
Thought he fainted quite away there,
And was carried straight to Newgate;
In the dreary cell of felon,
In condemned cell chained with fetters,
There to 'wait the time appointed
For his final execution.
Dreamed he saw the black-robed Chaplain
Come to speak of consolation;
Dreamed he heard the words of comfort
Sounding strangely (Ah, how strangely!--
Sad to think how very strangely
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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