On his breast a scarlet blanket, Proudly wearing à la toga, Gave himself to mighty Marter; Pass'd a captive 'twixt the soldiers! Ended now his strange adventures, Ended all his wily dodges, All his plottings and his schemings, And his hecatombs of Zulus! From _Snatches of Song_, by F. B. Doveton, 1880. * * * * * HIAWATHA'S PHOTOGRAPHING. _Author's Preface._ ("In an age of imitation, I can claim no special merit for this slight attempt at doing what is known to be so easy. Any fairly practised writer, with the slightest ear for rhythm, could compose, for hours together, in the easy running metre of 'The Song of Hiawatha.'") From his shoulder Hiawatha Took the camera of rosewood. Made of sliding, folding rosewood, Neatly put it all together. In its case it lay compactly, Folded into nearly nothing; But he opened out the hinges, Pushed and pulled the joints and hinges, Till it looked all squares and oblongs, Like a complicated figure In the Second Book of Euclid. This he perched upon a tripod-- Crouched beneath its dusky cover-- Stretched his hand, enforcing silence-- Said, "Be motionless, I beg you!" Mystic, awful was the process. All the family in order, Sat before him for their pictures; Each, in turn, as he was taken, Volunteered his own suggestions, His ingenious suggestions. First the Governor, the Father, He suggested velvet curtains Looped about a massy pillar; And a corner of a table, Of a rosewood dining-table. He would hold a scroll of something, Hold it firmly in his left hand; He would keep his right hand buried (Like Napoleon) in his waistcoat; He would contemplate the distance With a look of pensive meaning, As of ducks that die in tempests. Grand, heroic was the notion: Yet the picture failed entirely-- Failed because he moved a little, Moved, because he couldn't help it." * * * * * Next to him the eldest daughter: She suggested very little, Only asked if he would take her With her look of 'passive beauty.' Her idea of passive beauty Was a squinting of the left eye, Was a drooping of the right eye, Was a smile that went up sideways To the corner of the nostrils." After having taken each member of the family in succession, with the most dismal results:-- Finally my Hiawatha Tumbled all the tribe together, ('Grouped' is not the right expression), And, as happy chance would have it, Did at last obtain a picture Where the faces all succeeded: Each came out a perfect likeness. Then they joined, and all abused it, Unrestrainedly abused it, As 'the worst and ugliest picture They could possibly have dreamed of.' * * * * *