"O stop the leak!" his wife had said; "The ceiling's cracking overhead. The roaring torrent's deep and wide"-- "I'll go and fetch," he had replied, "A Plumber." "Pa ain't at home," the maiden said, When to the plumber's house he sped. He searched through London low and high, But nowhere could he catch or spy A Plumber. Next morn, a Peeler on his round, A mud-bespattered trav'ller found, Who grasped the "Guide to Camden Town" With hand of ice--the page turned down At "Plumbers." They brought a parson to his side, He gently murmured ere he died-- "My house has floated out to sea, I am not mad--it's not d. t.-- It's Plumbers." This parody is to be found in a small volume entitled _The Lifeboat and other Poems_, by George R. Sims (John P. Fuller, Wine Office Court, London, 1883). By the author's kind permission I am also enabled to quote the very funny, although slightly incoherent, remarks of-- THE POETS ON THE MARRIAGE WITH A DECEASED WIFE'S SISTER BILL. It comes as a boon and a blessing to men When your missus as was disappears from your ken. ANONYMOUS. When from the wife you get a parting benison, Her sister will console you-- ALFRED TENNYSON. When weary, worn, and nigh distraught with grief, You mourn Maria in your handkerchief, Rush, rush to Aunty, and obtain relief. AN F.S.A. OF OVER 100 YEARS. Beneath the spreading chestnut tree The village smithy stands-- With Mrs. Smith it's all U P, She's gone to other lands. But he goes on Sunday to the church, And hears her sister's voice; He leaves his scruples in the lurch, And she makes his heart rejoice. The morning sees his suit commenced, The evening sees it done-- Next day the Parson ties the knot, And Pa and Aunt are one. LONGFELLOW. O blood-bitten lip all aflame, O Dolores and also Faustine, O aunts of the world worried shame, Lo your hair with its amorous sheen, Meshes man in its tangles of gold; O aunts of the tremulous thrill, We are pining--we long to enfold The Deceased Wife's Fair Relative Bill. SWINBURNE. Although the above lines were written several years ago, they may be appropriately quoted now that the House of Commons has once again carried, and by a large majority, a resolution in favour of the repeal of the law prohibiting marriage with a deceased wife's sister. (In a division in the House of Commons on May 6, 1884, Mr. Broadhurst's motion was carried by 238 to 127, or a majority of 111 in favour of the repeal.) * * * * * DYSPEPSIA.