Detached portions of Tennyson's _Maud_, have frequently been parodied, but the only case in which any attempt appears to have been made to imitate all its varying styles, and phases of thought, occurs in a small volume published in 1859, entitled _Rival Rhymes in Honour of Burns_. Unfortunately, the mere trick of imitating the metre only does not constitute a good parody, and this one lacks both in interest and humour. It is, besides, very long. The following are some of its best verses:-- THE POET'S BIRTH: A MYSTERY. _By the P--t L--te._ I. I HATE the dreadful hollow behind the dirty town, At the corner of its lips are oozing a foul ferruginous slime, Like the toothless tobacco-cramm'd mouth of a hag who enriches the crown By consuming th 'excised weed,--parent of smuggling crime! II. 'Tis night; the shivering stars, wrapt in their cloud-blankets dreaming, Forget to light an old crone, who to cross the hollow would try; But watchful Aldebaran, in Taurus's head swift gleaming, Like a policeman, to help her, turns on his bull's-eye. III. There's a hovel of mud, and the crone, mudded and muddled, Knocks, and an oxidized hinge creaks a rusty "Come in." There are now in the hovel,--a woman in bed-gear huddled, A careworn man, and a midwife, her functional fee to win. IV. Midwives are hard as millstones: Expectant father's emotions Are dragg'd by the heart's wild tide, like seashore shingle, Shrieking complaint, when the fierce assaults of the ocean Beat them all round, without an exception single. * * * * * 1. Darkness! Darkness! Darkness! Ebon carved idol of wickedness! Guilty deeds do love thee, Innocent childhood fears thee; Therefore these do prove thee An unbless'd thing!--Who hears thee, Grisly, gaunt, and lonely,-- Darkness! Darkness! Darkness! Thy brother Silence only! 2. Lightness! Lightness! Lightness! Great quality in small things, A pudding, above all things! Great quality in great things, And, not to understate things, Thou art the essence of sunshine, Lightness! Lightness! Lightness! Whose brightness-- And whiteness-- Are but lackness Of blackness. Therefore, Darkness! Darkness! Ebon-carved idol of wickedness! Let those who love you And Silence, prove you And seek! Not I! For why?--for why?--for why? I'll speak! * * * * *