The spider in my mouldy brain has woven its web for hours On the dull flats of Lincoln fens and withered hot-house flowers; I feel the shortening of my wits and the lengthening of my ears, So I'm to be one of the peers, Vicky, I'm to be one of the Peers. The night winds come and go, Vicky, upon the meadow grass; There are guineas for the rhymster and thistles for the ass: I have been your rhyming flunkey for over thirty years; Now I'm to be one of the Peers, Vicky, I'm to be one of the Peers. There will be poets after me, not fresh and green and still, Who care less for a Prince's nod than for the People's will, Not rhyming royal nuptials and singing royal biers; But I'm to be one of the Peers, Vicky, I'm to be one of the Peers. You must wake and call me early, call me early, Vicky dear; To-morrow will be the silliest day we've seen for many a year; For I'm a lackey and prig, Vicky, that sham and shoddy reveres, And I'm to be one of the Peers, Vicky, I'm to be one of the Peers. From _The Secular Review_, December 29, 1883. * * * * * Of Tennyson's Patriotic Poems _The Charge of the Light Brigade_ has always been the most popular, and has, consequently, been the most frequently parodied. An excellent parody, taken from _Puck on Pegasus_, was given on page 31; the following are the most interesting examples which remain to be quoted:-- THE INSTITUTION OF MECHANICAL ENGINEERS. On Thursday, August 3, 1865, an excursion was made by the Members of the Institution of Mechanical Engineers of England, to the Dublin Corporation Waterworks at the Stillorgan and Roundwood Reservoirs. The members proceeded from Bray through the Glen of the Downs, along a portion of the line of pipes, and at the Roundwood Reservoir they were handsomely entertained by Sir John Gray, M.P., the Chairman of the Waterworks Committee, and by Mr. John Jameson, the Deputy-Chairman. The following parody appeared in a Dublin newspaper a few days later. Dr. Waller, who is mentioned in it, was then the Chairman of the Connoree Copper and Sulphur Mines, in the Vale of Avoca, which were also visited by the party of Engineers:-- THE TWO HUNDRED. (After Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade.") "Half-past nine, August three-- Half-past nine--onward! Off to the Vartry Works Went some two hundred. Off to the Vartry Works, Where the good water lurks, Down on the Wicklow line, Thinking of how they'd dine; 'Toasting,' with best of wine, Off--with the weather fine-- Went the two hundred.