Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I
Parodies
The dame passes out, and swiftly down the streets of Camelot, where she
seeks, and finds, the needed bread, and hastens back--but all too late,
alas! for Sir Tray lay prone upon the hearth, and neither breathed nor
stirred:--
"Dead?" said the Dame, while louder wailed Elaine;
"I see," she said, "thy fasts were all too long,
Thy commons all too short, which shortened thus
Thy days, tho' thou mightst still have cheered mine age
Had I but timelier to the city wonned.
Thither I must again, and that right soon,
For now 'tis meet we lap thee in a shroud,
And lay thee in the vault by Astolat,
Where faithful Tray shall by Sir Hubbard lie."
Up a by-lane the undertaker dwelt;
There day by day he plied his merry trade,
And all his undertakings undertook:
Erst knight of Arthur's Court, _Sir Waldgrave_ hight,
A gruesome carle who hid his jests in gloom,
And schooled his lid to counterfeit a tear.
With cheerful hammer he a coffin tapt,
While hollow, hollow, hollow rang the wood,
And, as he sawed and hammered, thus he sang--
Wood, hammer, nails, ye build a house for him,
Nails, hammer, wood, ye build a house for me,
Paying the rent, the taxes, and the rates.
I plant a human acorn in the ground,
And therefrom straightway springs a goodly tree,
Budding for me in bread and beer and beef.
O Life, dost thou bring Death or Death bring thee?
Which of the twain is bringer, which the brought?
Since men must die that other men may live.
O Death, for me thou plump'st thine hollow cheeks,
Mak'st of thine antic grin a pleasant smile,
And prank'st full gaily in thy winding sheet.
Yet am I but the henwife's favourite chick,
Pampered but doomed; and, in the sequel sure,
Death will the Undertaker overtake."
Thus to Sir Waldgrade the Dame recounts her loss:--
"Sir Tray that with me dwelt,
Lies on my lonely hearthstone stark and stiff;
Wagless the tail that waved to welcome me."
Here Waldgrave interposed in sepulchral tones--
"Oft have I noted, when the jest went round,
Sad 'twas to see the wag forget his tale--
Sadder to see the tail forget its wag."
The description of the coffin follows, and, lastly, after sundry
vicissitudes (including a visit to the hatter's), the dame returned--
"Home through the darksome wold, and raised the latch,
And marked, full lighted by the ingle-glow,
Sir Tray, with spoon in hand, and cat on knee,
Spattering the mess about the chaps of Puss."
* * * * *
SIR EGGNOGG.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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