Well, I have heard men say that oftentimes True love, once smooth, is scattered to the deuce And she that first advantage hath obtain'd, Doth lose at last, and suffer sad reverse. Sweet maid, when thou art wed, the deuce avoid, And thou shalt ne'er at least deserve a beating." She laugh'd; he frown'd; I turn'd, and went my way. * * * * * Notwithstanding the care Tennyson has usually bestowed upon his writings, he has occasionally of late years, published poems in the magazines, remarkable for their inferiority--even as compared with ordinary magazine poetry--by no means a very high standard. Perhaps he never wrote a weaker set of lines than those printed in "Good Words" for March, 1868, they were headed-- 1865-1866. I stood on a tower in the wet, And New Year and Old Year met, And winds were roaring and blowing; And I said, "O years! that meet in tears, Have ye aught that is worth the knowing?" Science enough and exploring, Wanderers coming and going; Matter enough for deploring, But aught that is worth the knowing? Seas at my feet were flowing, Waves on the shingle pouring; Old Year roaring and blowing, And New Year blowing and roaring. The following parody, which appeared shortly afterwards, is scarcely inferior to the Laureate's lines.-- 1867-1868. I sat in a 'bus in the wet, "Good Words" I had happened to get, With Tennyson's last bestowing; And I said, "O bard! who works so hard, Have ye aught that is worth the knowing?" Verses enough and so boring, Twaddle quite overflowing, Rubbish enough for deploring; But aught that is worth the knowing? Placards on walls were glowing, Puffs in the papers pouring, "Good Words" roaring and blowing, "Once a Week" blowing and roaring! Or, "another way," as the cookery books say-- A PARODY, _After Tennyson's Last._ TENNYSON stood in the wet, And he and his publishers met, His publishers cursing and swearing, And they said "O Tennyson tell us, Have you anything good to sell us, The public mind it enrages, To read such bosh by pages, 'The Victim' was little better, And oh! that 'Spiteful Letter.'" They spoke, their poor hair tearing, TENNYSON poems rehearsing, Publishers cursing and swearing, TENNYSON swearing and cursing. * * * * * "The Victim," above referred to, which also had appeared in "Good Words," was the subject of the following witty parody, in which the versification of the original is closely imitated:-- FOOTNOTES: [Footnote 1: The song in _Enid_, here alluded to, runs thus:-- Turn, fortune, turn thy wheel and lower the proud; Turn thy wild wheel thro' sunshine, storm and cloud; Thy wheel and thee we neither love nor hate. * * * * *