Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
Parodies
Oh! distinctly I remember, for it happen’d this December
And each separate, dying ember seem’d a figure on the floor.
Nervously I wish’d the morrow; for so far I’d failed to borrow――
From the Bank of England borrow――at the same rate as before――
At the same low rate of interest I had borrow’d at before――
They would lend at Two no more.
And I had a sort of notion that this fact was known to Goschen,
Whilst the dread of Childers fill’d me with a fear not felt before,
So that now to still the beating of my heart I’d been repeating:
“P’rhaps some luck may yet befall you ere you stand upon the floor――
Stand next April with your Budget at the table on the floor――
And a Surplus yet restore!”
Presently the rap was stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Kempe!” said I, “or Law, or Lingen, is that you outside my door?
If it be, pray cease your tapping; if you have no cause for rapping,
Cease, and let me strike my balance ere I sleep, I you implore.
Do come in if you are out there!” Here I open’d wide the door――
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Seeing ghosts of former Budgets――Gladstone’s Budgets――o’er me soar;
But the silence was unbroken, and of Kempe I saw no token;
He had gone with Law and Lingen shortly after half-past four.
So I “H-s-s-h’d”――perchance assuming there were cats about the floor――
Merely cats, and nothing more.
Back into my room returning, where two composites were burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than before.
“’Tis too soon for chimney-sweeper; can it be the office-keeper?”
This I said, and once more rising, tried the mystery to explore.
“I will go and try the window, for there’s no one at the door”――
This I said, and nothing more.
Open then I flung the shutter, when with quite a fussy flutter,
In there stalk’d a handsome Surplus of the Liberal years of yore;
Not the least obeisance made it, not a minute stopp’d or stay’d it,
But――nor tried I to dissuade it――hopp’d on something on the floor;
Hopp’d upon my rough-drawn Budget, which I’d thrown upon the floor――
Hopp’d, then sat; and nothing more!
Then this welcome guest beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the cheery and contented cast of countenance it wore;
“Welcome,” said I, “Surplus comely! though you have arrived so
‘rumly,’
For ’tis some years since a Budget drawn by me a Surplus bore;
Let this be a happy omen――that they’ll come as heretofore!”
Quoth the Surplus――“Nevermore!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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