Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
Parodies
Heeding not where I was going, I had wandered, all unknowing,
Where a river gently flowing caught the radiant ruby-streak;
And this new-found stream beguiling my sedateness into smiling,
Set me classically styling it with Latin names and Greek.
Names Idalian and Castalian such as lovers of the Greek,
Roll like quids within their cheek.
On its marge was many a burrow, many a mound, and many a furrow,
Where the fossickers of fortune play at Nature’s hide-and-seek;
And instead of bridge to span it, there were stepping-stones of
granite,――
And where’er the river ran, it seemed of hidden wealth to speak.
Presently my soul grew stronger, and I, too, was fain to speak:――
I assumed a pose plastique.
“Stream,” said I, “I’ll celebrate thee! Rhymes and Rhythms galore
await thee!
In the weekly ‘poets corner’ I’ll a niche for thee bespeak:
But to aid my lucubration, thou must tell thine appellation,
Tell thy Naiad-designation――for the Journal of next week――
Give thy sweet Pactolian title to my poem of next week.
Whisper, whisper it――in Greek!”
But the river gave no token, and the name remained unspoken,
Though I kept apostrophising till my voice became a shriek;――
When there hove in sight the figure of a homeward-veering digger,
Looming big, and looming bigger, and ejecting clouds of reek――
In fuliginous advance emitting clouds of noisome reek
From a tube beneath his beak.
“Neighbour mine,” said I, “and miner,”――here I showed a silver
shiner――
“For a moment, and for sixpence, take thy pipe from out thy cheek.
This the guerdon of thy fame is; very cheap, indeed, the same is;
Tell me only what the name is――(’tis the stream whereof I speak)――
Name the Naiad-name Pactolian! Digger, I adjure thee, speak!”
Quoth the digger, “Quart Pot Creek.”
Oh, Pol! Edepol! Mecastor! Oh, most luckless poetaster!
I went home a trifle faster, in a twitter of a pique;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living rhyming being
Ever yet was cursed with seeing, in his poem for the week,
Brook or river made immortal in his poem for the week,
With such a name as “Quart Pot Creek!”
* * * * *
But the river, never minding, still is winding, still is winding,
By the gardens where the Mongol tends the cabbage and the leek;
And the ruby radiance nightly touches it with farewell lightly,
But the name sticks to it tightly,――and this sensitive physique,
The already-mentioned (_vide_ supra) sensitive physique,
Shudders still at “Quart Pot Creek!”
_Miscellaneous Poems._ By J. Brunton Stephens. London (Macmillan and
Co.) 1880.
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Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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