Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
Parodies
* * * * *
EDGAR A. POE.
――――:o:――――
PARALUNE.
(_A Poe-tic Fragment_).
[A new moonshade, called a Paralune, has been introduced to preserve
Ladies’ complexions from the alleged injurious effects of moonlight.]
Then I looked round for SUKEY, and missed her;
But back she came bounding right soon;
And I said, “What’s the matter, sweet Sister?”
She pointed at once to the moon,
To the silvery sheeny full moon.
“Hang it, SUKEY,” I cried, “you’re a twister!
What’s _that_? To explain were a boon.”
She replied, “Paralune! Paralune!
’Tis the moonshade, the new Paralune.”
Then she said, “She’s a danger is Dian,
A Satellite Ladies mistrust,
To the skin she is terribly tryin’,
And makes one’s complexion like dust.
Red, freckled, or dingy as dust――
Nay, tanned like the tawny-maned Lion.”
“What nonsense!” cried I, in disgust.
SUKEY sobbed, “You’re unjust, you’re unjust!
And carry a moonshade I _must_!”
Then I melted, and tried to look pleasant,
And tempted her out ’neath the moon!
Explained the full disc and the crescent,
Each scoriac rock and lagoon;
And her moonshade she dropped very soon;
But next morning her nose was rubescent,
Her temper was much out of tune;
And she wailed, “Paralune! Paralune!
’Tis the fault of my lost Paralune!”
_Punch_, September 10, 1881.
――――:o:――――
THE WILLOWS.
The skies they were ashen and sober,
The streets they were dirty and drear;
It was night in the month of October,
Of my most immemorial year;
Like the skies I was perfectly sober,
As I stopped at the mansion of Shear,――
At the Nightingale,――perfectly sober,
And the willowy woodland, down here.
Here, once in an alley Titanic
Of Ten-pins, I roamed with my soul,――
Of Ten-pins,――with Mary, my soul;
They were days when my heart was volcanic,
And impelled me to frequently roll,
And made me resistlessly roll,
Till my ten-strikes created a panic
In the realms of the Boreal pole,
Till my ten-strikes created a panic
With the monkey atop of his pole.
I repeat, I was perfectly sober,
But my thoughts they were palsied and sear,――
My thoughts were decidedly queer;
For I knew not the month was October,
And I marked not the night of the year;
I forgot that sweet _morceau_ of Auber
That the band oft performed down here,
And I mixed the sweet music of Auber
With the Nightingale’s music of Shear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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