Oh, those cruel, clanging bells―― Front-door bells―― Oh, what cozy dreams of comfort their sounding forth dispels! How their clanging and their banging Keeps one trotting to and fro, Till you seem a sort of nightmare, Kept forever on the go By the clang, clang, clang, And the bang, bang, bang! Till the ringers of those door-bells you could hang, hang, hang! Oh, that best and blessed bell―― Dinner bell―― With what harmony and melody its brazen accents swell! How its full and unctuous greeting Seems to reach your inner man, And you answer as a waiter, And a hungry waiter, can To its ding, dong, dong! Come along, long, long! So the blessed bell for dinner ends my song, song, song! _Anonymous._ ――――:o:―――― THE BILLS. See the members with their bills. Private bills, What a world of promises their bringing-in fulfils; How they jostle one another, And compete for vacant nights, How they pant, and gasp, and smother, Pushed aside by party fights, While their movers, standing by, Emit a doleful cry, Apprehensive of the destiny that ultimately kills Their bills, bills, bills, bills, Bills, bills, bills, The dismal fate in keeping for their bills. See the silly annual bills, Foolish bills, With what-deluded hopefulness their introduction fills All their friends throughout the land, Who can never understand, That the House will throw them out One by one; That though the movers shout At a speaker who is dozing while they spout, When they’ve done, With patience sorely tried, But with a gush of thankfulness the members will divide, And decide, To deride The foolish annual bills; And the lesson each instils Is, that clearly these are merely Futile bills, bills, bills. Bills, bills, bills, bills, Bills, bills, bills, Never to be anything but bills.