Next, we have another kind of swells―― Seedy swells! Impecuniosity within their aspect dwells, And their boots, and hats, and clothes, Sadly foreign are to those Which our former friends disclose Every day! And they dismally recur unto the days ere tick expired, When they dined and wined _ad lib._, and were both fêted and admired―― Ere the Hebrew would refuse To transmute their I O U’s, And they only knew the blues As a bore; When the features of their creeds Were feeds, and weeds, And steeds, And the thought of being poor In the future they ne’er saw, But would greet it with a roar, To be sure! Last, we have the naughtiest of swells―― Howling swells! Each, in larks nocturnal, both our other friends excels, Thinking nought of getting “tight,” Screeching out in wild delight In the “startled eve of night” Tavern melodies, despite The warning of the much-disgusted “p’lice,” Making rows, rows, rows, Imitating small bow-wows, While the cats on all the tiles, Whom this mad defiance riles, Add their quota to the torment of the Peace! Yes, these swells, swells, swells, Bibulation deep impels To wake the peaceful midnight with their yells, yells, yells, With their yells, yells, yells, yells, yells, yells, yells, Their sleep-destroying, horrifying yells! _Worthy a Crown?_――1876. ――――:o:―――― THE BELLS. Hear the tramcars with their bells, Merry bells, What a good threepennyworth their melody foretels, As they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle, Through the day and through the night, All the cars that oversprinkle The lines fly in a twinkle, From the red, or blue and white; And from eight p.m. they chime, Through the Corporation slime (The proper term is mud, but then you see it wouldn’t rhyme―― It’s sometimes very difficult to hit upon a rhyme.) Until the licensed-victualler his customers expels, And their bacchanalian yells, Join in chorus with the bells; With the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, Bells, bells, bells―― The racing and the chasing of the bells.