Who is it often comes to state The Company no more will wait, But must insist upon the rate? The Turncock. Who is it waits another day, And then no longer will delay, But cuts the water right away? The Turncock. _Punch_, 1843. ――――:o:―――― THE RAMONEUR’S ADDRESS. Who, when the chimney is on fire, Than any sweep can go up higher, And do whatever you require? The Ramoneur. Who saves the bother and the noise Of dirty little climbing boys, Whose feet the furniture destroys? The Ramoneur. Who human nature never shocks, By torturing mortal knees and hocks, And who deserves a Christmas box? The Ramoneur. _Punch_, Christmas, 1843. This refers to the invention of a new Chimney Sweeping Machine. Before the Act of 1842 it was customary to compel little boys to climb up the insides of chimneys to sweep them, and many were suffocated, or got jammed in the narrow flues. ――――:o:―――― THE PROTECTIONIST CATECHISM. (_To be Sung or Said in all places where they talk Nonsense._) What is it makes Provisions cheap, Turns last year’s corn too soft to keep, And breeds the rot in Cows and Sheep? Free Trade! What caused last summer’s heavy rains? What makes stiff clays insist on drains? What _will_ have farmers use their brains? Free Trade! What brought about potato blight? What is the cause of Ireland’s plight? What won’t let anything go right? Free Trade! What caused two years’ short cotton crops? What made the Funds to ninety drop? What soon will make the world shut shop? Free Trade! What drains our gold and silver out, Makes quassia to be used in stout, Puts foreign monarchs up the spout? Free Trade! What makes poor tenants quite content To pay whatever’s asked for rent, Though corn go down fifteen per cent? Free Trade! What soon will raise the labourers’ hire To something past mere food and fire, And make him saucy to the squire? Free Trade! What works the Constitution woe, At Church and State doth strike a blow, And brings up everything that’s low? Free Trade! What is the thing to save our bacon, Restore our Constitution shaken, And give us back what PEEL has taken? Protection! What will vote draining tiles a bore, What Coprolites and Guano floor, And good old rule of thumb restore? Protection!