What made the Home Rule Members spout Sedition as they stump’d about? What sent the threat’ning letter out? The weather. What brought the Bank rate down to one, And sent up “railways” with a run? What made so heavy _Punch_ and _Fun_?―― The weather. What made Lord B. to Aylesbury go, To prose of black-faced ewes, and show How from the land three profits grow? The weather. What made him, later try to pass As words of wisdom nonsense crass―― _Imperium et Libertas!_――?―― The weather. And to declare that for our land There was a future great and grand Since chemicals were in demand?―― The weather. What made the British ironclads tack And sail due East, and then, alack! Upon the morrow sail straight back?―― The weather. What made it cups and swords to rain, When home across the stormy main Our Zulu heroes came again?―― The weather. What sent up bread and kept down wheat, And made the Russian troops retreat, Although the Turcomans they beat?―― The weather. What made the youthful King of Spain Resolve that he would wed again, And add a bridal to his reign?―― The weather. What made so many wives elope, What damp’d our joy, and dull’d our hope, And knock’d up Bismarck and the Pope?―― The weather. What Bismarck to Vienna sent The Austrian union to cement, And Salisbury make so eloquent?―― The weather. What made Peru and Chili fight, And nerved Bolivian arms with might? What smash’d up the _Huascar_ quite?―― The weather. In short, what can we safely blame For all the ills that on us came, Till one begins to loathe its name?―― The weather. _Truth_, Christmas Number, 1879. ――――:o:―――― THE WEATHER. (_By one who is much affected by it._) What made me careless, cheery, gay, What made me throw ten pounds away, And cheerfully some large bills pay? The weather! What made my head feel iron-bound, What made me kick my favourite hound, Quarrel with wife and friends all round? The weather! What made me open wide my coat, And get into a penny boat, And talk of spring time like a “Pote?” The weather! What made me suddenly feel ill, What gave me such a fearful chill, That I went home to make my will? The weather! _Punch_, March 12, 1881. ――――:o:――――