Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. II
Parodies
To be or not to be; that is the bare bodkin
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would fardels bear, till Birnam Wood do come to Dunsinane,
But that the fear of something after death
Murders the innocent sleep,
Great nature’s second course,
And makes us rather sling the arrows of outrageous fortune
Than fly to others that we know not of.
There’s the respect must give us pause:
Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The law’s delay, and the quietus which his pangs might take,
In the dead waste and middle of the night, when churchyards yawn
In customary suits of solemn black,
But that the undiscovered country from whose bourne no traveller
returns,
Breathes forth contagion on the world,
And thus the native hue of resolution, like the poor cat i’ the adage,
Is sicklied o’er with care,
And all the clouds that lowered o’er our housetops,
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
’Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. But soft you, the fair
Ophelia;
Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws,
But get thee to a nunnery――go!
CARADOS.
_The Referee_, Dec. 21, 1884.
――――:o:――――
SOLILOQUY ON SPECULATION.
To act, or not to act, that is the question?
Whether ’tis better for the purse to suffer,
The stocks and shares to fall without a “spec”
Or to proceed against this sea of bubbles
And venture a transaction? To bull, to bull
No more; but by a bear to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
The “House” is heir to――’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To bear――to sell
To bear――watch settling day! ay――there’s the rub
For in that sale of stock what wealth may come
Ay, marry and go, if we bear not in mind,
We must buy back.――There’s the respect.
That makes a bubble stock of so long life
For who would bull, who now can see the past,
Directors deeds and chairmen’s soft smooth words;
The pangs of broken faith, the laws delay
The insolence of office, and the spurns,
Impatient shareholders are forced to take,
When he himself might a large fortune make,
With a “Bear Broker”? Who would railways bull
To grunt and sweat as each account comes round,
But for the hope that things may take a turn
That “Boards” may learn a lesson from the “Times”
And travellers increase――puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear the ills we have
Than bear the stocks and shares we know not of.
Thus fear of risk makes cowards of us all,
And thus the bull’s enticing dream of hope
Is sicklied o’er with the misdeeds of Boards.
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard, their interest turn awry,
And cause us doubt in action.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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