To pay, or not to pay, that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the man to suffer The duns and threats of overpressing tradesmen, Or to take arms against a sea of bills, And, by compounding, end them? To fail, to owe No more,――and by that act to say we end The heart-ache, and the thousand front-door knocks A debtor’s used to:――’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To fail――to smash:―― To smash, perchance to starve; ay, there’s the rub; For in that bankruptcy what strain may come, When we have shuffled off this coil of bills, Must give us pause:――There’s the respect That makes calamity of commercial life. For who would bear the slights of those he patronises The oppressor’s writ, the bailiff’s forced possession, The pangs of declined credit, the lawyer’s threats, The insolence of agents, and the frequent calls Impatient tradesmen make to get their money When he himself might his quietus make With a bare petition? Who would fardels bear To groan and sweat under this weary strife, But that the dread of something after failure,―― The discontented lawyer from whose clutch No debtor ’ere escapes,――puzzles the will; And makes us rather hear the bills we have Than fly to others that we know not of! Thus insolvency makes cowards of us all, And thus the anxious heart of him who struggles on Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought; And shaky merchants of great name and business With this regard some sly “arrangements” make And lose the name of debtor. Q. E. D. This amusing Parody appeared in _The Walsall Observer_. January, 1881. It was written by Mr. F. J. Overton, of Walsall. ――――:o:―――― OUGHT A GENTLEMAN TO GO OUTSIDE AN OMNIBUS TO OBLIGE A LADY?