In the Burlesque of Norma by W. S. Gilbert, entitled _The Pretty Druidess_, which was produced at the Charing Cross Theatre on the 19th June, 1869, Norma announces her intention to have a Fancy Fair with a view of raising the funds necessary to fight the Romans, and drive them out of the country. This scene contains a parody of Hamlet’s instructions to the players:―― _Norma._――Now this sound code of business we’ll arrange, We’ll only take bank notes, and give no change, And won’t sell anything to any buyer That any one could possibly require. Now, priestesses, be good enough to tell The articles that you’ve prepared to sell. _Adalgisa_.――(_producing cap_) a smoking cap―― _Norma._――Ah, there, at least, he’s thwarted, For (hush) tobacco isn’t yet imported! _Adalgisa._――Some scented soap. _Norma._――They’re certain to refuse it―― Italians, generally, do not use it! _Adalgisa._――A razor-case, completely stocked. _Norma._――That’s brave! For warriors are not allowed to shave! _Adalgisa._――Braces, embroidered with initial letter. _Norma._――Embroidered braces? Nothing could be better! No Roman wears, in all the martial train, The garments they’re intended to sustain! _Adalgisa._――How shall we bear ourselves to-morrow, pray? _Norma._――Attention, and I’ll point you out the way. With pretty speech accost both old and young, And speak it trippingly upon the tongue. But if you mouth it with a hoyden laugh, With clumsy ogling, and uncomely chaff, As I have oft seen done at fancy fairs, I had as lief a huckster sold my wares. Avoid all so-called “beautifying,” dear. Oh, it offends me to the soul to hear, The things that men among themselves will say Of some _soi-disant_ beauty of the day, Whose face, when with cosmetics she has cloyed it, Out-Rachel’s Rachel! Pray you, girls, avoid it! Neither be ye too tame, but, ere you go, Provide yourselves with sprigs of mistletoe, Offer them coyly to the Roman herd, But don’t you “suit the action to the word,” For in the very torrent of your passion, Remember modesty is still in fashion. Oh, there be ladies whom I’ve seen hold stalls―― Ladies of rank, my dears, to whom befalls Neither the accent nor the gait of ladies; So clumsily “made up” with Bloom of Cadiz, Powder, rouge, lip-salve――that I’ve fancied then They were the work of Nature’s journeymen! Let her, whose hair is black with lustre mellow, Not dream of using dye to turn it yellow―― She’ll find it argues (when at length she loses it) A sad ambition in the fool that uses it! Now get you ready. _Exit Norma._ ――――:o:――――