RIVAL RHYMES, In honour of Burns; With curious illustrative matter. Collected and edited by BEN TROVATO “_If Maevius scribble in Apollo’s spight, There are who judge still worse than he can write._” POPE. _Contents._ The Bard of Ayr. By Father Prout, A Remonstrance to the Directors of the Crystal Palace. By a Proverbial Philosopher. A Spirit Lay from Hades. By Thomas Campbell. A Voice from the Far West. By H. W. Longfellow. A Few Words on Poets, &c. By the Ghost of Thomas Hood. Ode by an Ardent Admirer of Milton. Letter of Fergus McFash, enclosing an unpublished Poem, supposed to be by Robert Burns. The Penny-a-Liner’s Hope. By Barry Cornwall. The Poet’s Birth; a Mystery. By the Poet Laureate. Groves of Sydenham. By an Enraged Bard. Battle of the Lake Glenlivit. By Lord Macaulay. Author of “The Lays of Ancient Rum.” Lay of the Rapt Spirit. By the Ghost of Alexander Pope. Letter to the Directors of the Crystal Palace. By W. M. Thackeray (prose). APPENDIX. Lord Brougham on Burns and the Language of Scotland. (At the Burns’ Centenary Festival, held in the Music Hall in Edinburgh, when Lord Ardmillan presided, a letter from Lord Brougham was read by the Chairman. It was dated from Cannes, January 17, 1859.) Several of the poems in this little volume have already been quoted in “_Parodies_.” It is only necessary here to give the lines, supposed to be from an early and unfinished work by Robert Burns. These lines are introduced with a statement that they were found in an old escritoire, and are worthy of being preserved with the other relics of Robert Burns. Gang wi’ me to Lixmaleerie,[27] Couthie dearie, Paukie dearie, Where Clinkumbell is clatterin’ cleerie, And lasses buskit gaily, O! Waukrife a’ the nicht I lay, Whigmaleerie’s toom to spae, Laith and lang, till blink o’ day Wad gie to me my Mallie, O! Gang wi’ me to Lixmaleerie, Couthie dearie, Paukie dearie, Where Clinkumbell is clatterin’ cleerie, We’re aiblin’s baith expeckit, O! The hushion’d cowt afore the yett, Wi’ chaup o’ cloot, and crankous fret, Seems bletherin “Lassie, bide ye yet? Mess-John maun’t be negleckit, O!” * * * * * Scotchmen are ever ready to do honour to the memory of Burns, and enthusiastically celebrate his birthday every year.