Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. III
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. III
Parodies
He staid not for cash――tho’ he ask’d for a loan,
But he that cur’d tooth-aches, provided him none;
And ere he’d neglect _things_ of love or of state
He came without money, for fear he’d come late,
For a laggard in love, is a fool, he declares,
Unworthy of Cupid, or e’en state affairs.
To worship his saint did he thus take a trip,
And, quite pilgrim-like, with no cash in his scrip;
When one of the vestals, the Bishop attacked,
(It seems that the altar some sacrifice lack’d),
Oh! come you with money, or come you with pray’rs,
Or come you with vows that you’ll settle affairs?
Without you have cash must your suit be denied,
Love swells like the ocean but ebbs like its tide;
So now I observe――and observe very true,
That if you’ve no money, your kissing won’t do;
Your _Grace_ need not take empty pockets upstairs,
It is a _long-purse_ that must manage affairs.
The saint then appear’d and the Bishop soon pray’d;
His vows――but not one of the house-bills――were paid.
She look’d up for more and she look’d down in vain,
For searching his small clothes, they nought did contain.
She wish’d to know how she should settle arrears,
“Good morrow,” said he, and thus managed affairs.
How sudden his exit――how wild was her look,
For now his departure she scarcely could brook;
While her sister did fret and her housemaid did fume,
And her friends in a passion walk’d all round the room,
And the servants too whisper’d, “She’s wrong, who e’er dares,
To _meddle_ so much with a Bishop’s _affairs_.”
One hint by the way――and one word in your ear
If ever you wish to be _darling_ and _dear_――
Ne’er talk to a Bishop ’bout _mammon_, but know
His _blessing’s_ enough, as the sequel will show;
“She is false――then farewell――let her rail, but who cares;
Another I’ll find that can manage affairs.”
And to manage affairs is a business of art,
A secret which prudence forbids to impart,
A secret which e’en in the Cabinet reigns,
For statesmen can always display ways and means;
In love or in war whoe’er stratagem spares,
Deserves not a blessing to prosper affairs.
The Duke of York died early in 1827, to the great regret of all――his
numerous creditors, and the nation erected an expensive monument to
commemorate his military genius, and domestic virtues.[39] Perhaps the
money might have been as well employed in the payment of some of his
debts.
――――:o:――――
THE LADY OF THE LAKE.
The success of _Marmion_ encouraged Scott to produce another poem, and
in May, 1810, was published _The Lady of the Lake_, which met with
equal favour. In the preface to his new poem Walter Scott made the
following sensible remarks:――
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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