To the gents of the pantry ’twas Yellow-plush spoke, “This gentleman’s-gentleman’s life is no joke; And so, fellow-servants, I votes as how we Go ahead with the maidens of bonnie Dundee. For, be it a maid, or be it a man, Our rule is, Do nothing and get all you can. To compass that object no method I see Like that of the maidens of bonnie Dundee. “’Tis true that their meeting all ended in smoke, What can you expect, though, from weak women-folk? But that which we like is the pluck――the _esprit_―― Displayed by the maidens of Bonnie Dundee. So go out on strike, gents, that is your plan; Of course our arrangements are quite spick and span. And all our manœuvres more perfect you’ll see Than the foolish flare up of the maids of Dundee. “What may not result from this union of schemes, If only Jemima is aided by Jeames? We’ll soon be installed in the _salon_, you know, With masters and missises all down below. So go in for ‘union’ each Benedict man. No longer on Hymen let caste lay its ban. While every Lothario provided shall be With a mate from the maidens of bonnie Dundee. “Then come from the pantry, the kitchen, the hall, From footman gigantic to buttons the small, And follow your leaders the butlers, as we Condescend to be led by the girls of Dundee. Quick! down with the master, and up with the man, Since that nowadays is society’s plan. You’ll each one deserve a poor curate to be If you don’t join your lots with the maids of Dundee.” _The Hornet_, May 8, 1872. ―――― THE MAIDENS OF BONNIE DUNDEE. (“The Dundee servant maids have quarrelled with the reporters, whom they charge with having made their meetings ridiculous. They refused to have their last meeting reported.”) And did they its meeting turn into a joke, And fun journalistic presume for to poke? Could anyone aught that’s ridiculous see In the “platform” assumed by the maids of Dundee? O be it a maid, or be it a man, Let each be placed rigidly under the ban. And henceforth resolve no reports there shall be Of the talk of the Maidens of Bonnie Dundee. Dare we hope, as result of this last little game, The Lords and the Commons will soon do the same? How much more inviting the papers would be, If the House followed suit to the Maids of Dundee. For be it in earnest, or be it in joke, A deal of the talkee-talk _does_ end in smoke. Of course the reports are in fault, as _in re_ The counsels astute of the Maids of Dundee.