Three ships were laid up in the stream hard by; And the crews were discharged ere the sun went down; And nothing was left for a roof but the sky; And the moon’s not as warm as a quilt made of down. But men must work and women must weep; For none but a Fossil in comfort can sleep, When the Shipping trade is groaning. Three Fossils laid stretched on a Whitehall floor; Right flat on the floor, on a carpet brown. And their collars were dirty; and loud was their snore; For they’d all been enjoying a night about town. But men must work and women must weep, And when the spree’s ended the Fossils can sleep, While the hard-working world is moaning. _Fairplay_, November 7, 1884. ―――― THREE FISHERMEN. Three fishermen went gaily out into the North―― Out into the North ere the sun was high, And they chuckled with glee as they sallied forth, Resolved to capture the trout――or die. For men will fish and men will lie, About the fish they “caught on the fly,” Their Sunday-school lessons scorning. Three fishers lay under the trees at noon, And “blamed” the whole of the finny race, For never a nibble touched fly or spoon, And each sighed as he wet the hole in his face, For men will fish and men will lie, And the way they caught trout when nobody’s nigh Is something to tell――in the morning. Three fishermen came into town at night, And their “speckled beauties” were fair to see: They talked of their “sports” with keen delight, The envy of all the fraternity. But men will fish and men will lie, And what they can’t catch they’re sure to buy, And never repeat in the morning. U. N. NONE. _The Saturday Evening Post_, Philadelphia, U.S.A. June 27, 1885. ―――― NEW WORDS AND OLD SONGS. Three acres seemed pleasant to Countryman Hodge; With Countryman Hodge, too, the Cow went down; The Acres and Cow were a capital dodge For those who could never get in for the town. The men may vote――the women may not―― But the Primrose League is the comfort they’ve got; So the Knights and Dames go cadging! Three Rads came out in the country to speak―― By the village-pumps where the Cow went down; And they all kept talking on end for a week, Till the rustics came polling up, horny and brown. The men did vote――the women did not―― But though they didn’t, they canvassed a lot; And the Knights and Dames went cadging!