On a Racecourse he imagines that he knows what _he_ is at, He talks so scornfully of “mugs,” and says he knows a “flat;” So wisely speaks of “roping,” and he always “smells a rat,” But it very often happens that he’s put “into a hat,” Is this fine Young London Gentleman, Quite of the present style. But there comes a time when barmaids and when theatres are no go, When the “Boy” is voted nasty, and burlesques considered slow, When ev’rything too stale is, and when life has lost its flow, And the spirits once so high become dull, sluggish, bad, and low, Of the fine Young London Gentleman, Quite of the present style. Then he recognises sadly there are others come, like he, To make merry with the “fizz,” and likewise quaff the “S. and B.” He is growing old and weary, having just turned twenty-three, Existence is so tedious, all “life” a vast _ennui_ To the fine young London gentleman, Quite of the present style. _Punch._ February 11, 1882. ―――― A FINE OLD ENGLISH GENERAL. I’ll sing you a good old song, That was made by a good old pate, Of a fine old English General, Of a very modern date, Who helped to keep his country In a fit defensive state, And every quarter drew his pay At a bountiful old rate―― Like a fine old English General, One of the modern time! How Horatio kept the bridge In the good old times you’ve read; But this fine old English General He kept, as a rule, his bed; For he suffered from obeseness. And had swimming in his head; Whilst the gout, like an active foeman, About his body fled―― This fine old English General, &c. But like a brave old warrior, Prepared to do and dare, This fine old English General, Kept ready his Bath-chair; That if the foe should threaten, He to the front might fare, And with limbs swathed in flannel, The victory he might share―― This brave old English General, &c. He’d never been in actual fight, But had in fun fought hard; And right through many a desperate night At the Bank had he kept guard; Whilst many a day had he “relieved” In St. James’s Palace Yard; And once on duty in the streets Was wounded by a shard―― This brave old English General, &c.