Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV
Parodies
Then bow down, Mind, to Matter; from brain-fibre, Will, withdraw;
Fall Man’s heart to cell Ascidian, sink Man’s hand to Monkey’s
paw;
And bend the knee to Protoplast in philosophic awe――
Both Creator and Created, at once work and source of Law,
And our Lord be the Atom-Molecule,
Of the young World’s proto-prime!
ANONYMOUS.
――――
ON SIR STAFFORD NORTHCOTE.
Yes, I’ll sing you a good old song that, alas, seems out of date,
Of a fine old English statesman who for long had served the State,
And a sterling reputation had been able to create
For his courtesy and honour and strict fairness in debate,
Like a fine Old English Gentleman,
One of the good old kind.
He never stooped to treachery, nor can he comprehend,
How politicians can to tricks and throwing mud descend.
Nor will he principle forsake nor sacrifice a friend,
Though he is ready to the last his party to defend,
Like a fine Old English Statesman,
One of the good old times!
_Truth Christmas Number_, 1885.
――――
THE GRAND OLD MAN.
I’ll sing to you a brave new song, about the Grand Old Man,
Whose tongue and pen are ever found to forward freedom’s plan,
Who in the march of liberty has always led the van,
And ever stretched his strong right hand to help his fellow man
This brave, true-hearted, Grand Old Man,
Who stands up for the right.
This Grand Old Man wears on his brow no coronet of gold,
He does not claim a long descent from titled rogues of old,
He owns no broad domains for which he hath his country sold,
But looks the whole world in the face, for honour makes him bold――
This brave, true-hearted, Grand Old Man,
Plain Gladstone is his name.
In times gone by this Grand Old Man the cause of Free Trade led,
With Bright and Cobden he has helped to give the poor man bread,
And in dark homes of poverty, the light of plenty shed,
And little children bless his name, for he their lips hath fed――
This brave, true-hearted, Grand Old Man,
Who pleads the people’s cause.
The page of knowledge to the poor had never been unrolled,
And poor men’s papers all were taxed to spare the rich man’s gold.
But the Grand Old Man removed the ban with purpose brave and bold,
And now we’ve schools――and papers too――and what we have we’ll
hold――
Thanks to the brave and Grand Old Man,
Who is the poor man’s friend.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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