―――― BREACH OF PROMISE OF MARRIAGE. Mr. Herschel’s motion for the abolition of actions for breach of promise of marriage, excepting where actual pecuniary loss had been incurred, was carried in the House of Commons by a substantial majority. He thus addresses an aspiring youth of the Temple:―― When you, my friend, are called to the Bar, Your wit may be fresh and hearty; You may be, as many young barristers are, A somewhat jocular party. But you won’t, in the course of your legal journeys, Be required to cross the water To plead, as advised by ’cute attorneys, For somebody’s jilted daughter. A cute attorney jumps with joy When he hears a maid’s confession, And chuckles to think how he’ll bully the boy, In revenge for his retrogression. “You’ll get big damages, sure,” he’ll say, And cautiously remind her That her mother should bring her to court on the day, And her brother stand close behind her. No, no. You won’t grow rich as the Gurneys Through accustomed legal slaughter; To the courts no more shall ’cute attorneys Bring somebody’s jilted daughter. That species of extortion I Most heartily disparage, And mean that henceforward no judge shall try A Breach of Promise of Marriage.” _Funny Folks._ May 17, 1879. ――――:o:―――― H.M.S. PINAFORE. THE MAHDI OF MID-LOTHIAN. (_The Mahdi and Chorus of Radicals._) _The Mahdi_――I am the Mahdi of Mid-Lothian. _Chorus_―― And a very queer Mahdi too. _The Mahdi_――You are very, very rude; And I’d have it understood I command a motley crew. Though a Tory I was born, My creed I have forsworn, And am a Rad of a deepish dye, I never turn my coat With a view to catch a vote, And I never tell a big, big――――official statement. _Chorus_―― What, never? _The Mahdi_――No, never. _Chorus_―― What, never? _The Mahdi_――Well, hardly ever. _Chorus_―― Then give three cheers for the Grand Old Man, The Grand Old Mahdi of Mid-Lothian; Then give three cheers for the Grand Old Man, For the Mahdi of Mid-Lothian. _The Mahdi_――I’ve trimmed my sails to satisfy you all. _Chorus_―― And we never knew what you meant.