Your Grace has not a spark of patriot feeling―― Sing hey, the factious Radical you are!―― Or you’d know we cannot letters be revealing, That touch a friendly Potentate, the CZAR. (_Con expressione._) Sing hey, the friendly Monarch, The much-respected Monarch, Our best of foreign relatives, the CZAR. _Second Person of Quality (Con furia)._ My Lord, we give you fair and timely warning―― Sing hey, the Tory criminal you are!―― We’ll talk to the Electors, one fine morning, About the ill-used Afghan, and the CZAR. (_Lagrimando._) ’Bout the poor ill-usèd Afghan, The much malignèd Afghan, The loyal faithful Afghan, and the CZAR! _Punch._ March 13, 1880. ―――― The Tichborne Claimant wrote:――“It is a fine thing to be an Englishman. Fool that I used to be to think so! I should feel prouder now if I could say I was an American Indian. For if ever a man felt ashamed to own a country as his native land, I do this.” “For he himself has said it, That it’s much to his discredit That he’s an Englishman. He would rather be a Rooshan, A Turk, or Greek, or Prooshan, Or else Red In-di-an; And his future aspirations Will be turned to other nations, _Not_ to be an Englishman.” _Funny Folks._ ―――― THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE. SONG FOR A POLICEMAN. Hem! I represent the law, ’Sent the law. Of the Beak upon the Bench, well, I’m the claw, I’m the claw. I’m a terror and a snare To all not upon the square; And some envy me my uniform of blue, Yes, they _due_, _Many_ envy me my uniform of blue. Duty calls me on some roads, On some roads, Where, I own, I meet with pleasant episodes, Episodes; Where the housemaids have good looks, And obliging are the cooks, With no beastly barracks near to make ’em rue, Make ’em rue; Yes, it’s valued then, this uniform of blue. For the credit of the Force, Of the Force, A proper pride I cultivate, of course, ’Vate, of course; But, though sad, it must be told, All that glitters is not gold, And the statement Mr. Gilbert made is true, Made is true,―― No! it’s _not_ all joy to wear this dress of blue. _Judy._ July 11, 1883. ―――― _Song._――BY THE PRINCE OF WALES.