“I’m blind to every party sin, and personal defect, But ready any Land League fault most sternly to correct; ’Gainst Orangemen’s besotted crimes I closely shut my eyes, But mark the slips of Nationalists with most severe surprise. And when their foul abuse of us I hear them trying at, Why, I feel they ought to know _we_ claim monopoly of that! But although I’ve acted in this way since manhood I began, Yet people will insist I’m such an undesirable man! And I can’t think why! “So come, my worthy farmers and poor peasants, look at me, And try if you as spiteful and intolerant can be; Denounce the things in others _you_ do without demur, And make repeated efforts their passions fierce to stir. Be prejudiced as I am, my spite and malice share, And as becomes true patriots, for civil war prepare. In short, I’d have you act upon my patriotic plan, Though everybody says I’m such a bad, contentious man, And I can’t think why!” _Final chorus of Orange Leaders._ Yes, with spiteful heart Here we’ve played anew Our abusive part―― Insult is our cue! Yes! yes! Insult is our cue! _Truth._ January 10, 1884. ――――:o:―――― THE MIKADO. ―――― “JAMWILLOW.” [According to the _Times_ correspondent at Suakin, the frequent “jamming” of the Martini-Henry rifles was due to the defective cartridge in use. The cartridge is regarded, as “a theoretical one;” and a theoretical cartridge might as well be a blank one at once.] On a battlefield gory a soldier was seen, Who sang “Willow, jamwillow, jamwillow;” And I said to him “Warrior, what do you mean By your ‘Willow, jamwillow, jam willow’? Act at once, since the foe is approaching,” I cried, “You had better take aim, or they’ll humble our pride.” With a shake of his helmet, the fighter replied, “Oh, willow, jamwillow, jamwillow!” He pulled at the trigger again and again, Singing, “Willow, jamwillow, jamwillow!” But, alas! all his struggles were clearly in vain, Oh, “willow, jamwillow, jamwillow!” He threw down the arm, and a “Drat it!” he gave; Then he turned and he ran, though undoubtedly brave, And he shouted, while striving his bacon to save, “Oh, willow, jamwillow, jamwillow!”