Elizabeth, the mighty Queen, We quailed beneath her frown, sir, With nought but fear and hate for one So worthy of the crown, sir. As abject traitors round her throne We fulsome homage paid her, Though more than half of us were known To plot with the invader. To her for ducal coronets We never were beholden; To us the days of “Good Queen Bess” Were anything but “golden.” When slobbering James of coin was short, He baronets invented, And to creating lords for gold Right gladly he consented; A handsome “tip” was all he asked To make you duke or lord, sir―― No question ever of your _worth_, ’Twas what you could _afford_, sir. To be a peer, “your grace,” “my lord,” O, Lord! how fine it sounded! And thus, by shelling out of cash, Were noblest houses founded. When Charles the First, the public right To crush but now applies him, And willing help he gets from us; As friends we stand beside him. His acts of tyranny and fraud Scarce one of us opposes―― The fine, the prison, or the whip, Or slitting people’s noses. To curb the tyrant of his will Was no way in our line, sir, All human rights were forfeited, And merged in “Right Divine,” sir. The Second Charles just suited us, We joined his lewd carouses, And concubines became the source Of many ducal houses. And, as reward of services That history rarely mentions, You still enjoy the privilege Of paying us the pensions; And this we swear, by all that’s blue, Despite that prudes cry “Hush, sir!” That whatsoever we may do You’ll never find us blush, sir. In James’s Court we flourished still; Like sycophants we vied, sir; To be a royal mistress formed Our daughters’ highest pride, sir; For Whigs though tortures were devised, Their legs with wedges broke, sir, We ate and drank, and laughed and played, But ne’er a word we spoke, sir. For mingled cruelty and wrong We never did upbraid him; But when a _paying_ chance came round, Right quickly we betrayed him. When William came, with righteous rule, We proved but glum consenters; The King we deemed was but a fool, To tolerate Dissenters; Whilst on his part his Majesty Distrusted us with reason, For ’gainst our chosen lord and king We still kept plotting treason.