Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV

Parodies

I dreamt that footmen raised their hand,
        And knock’d to a high degree,
      With a noise few porters’ ears could withstand,
        But they wasted it all on me,
      I dreamt that one of the noisy host
        Came forth and bawl’d my name;
      But I also dreamt that fast as a post
        I slept there all the same.
        I slept there all the same.

From _George Cruikshank’s Table Book_. Edited by Gilbert Abbot à
Beckett.

                     ――――

  THE ALARMIST’S DREAM ABOUT THE GREAT EXHIBITION.

      I dreamt that I stood in the Crystal Halls,
        With Chartists and Reds at my side,
      And that all who assembled in those glass walls,
        Came there the contents to divide.
      Of riches too great to count it could boast,
        And jewels of world-wide fame;
      But I found, when I woke, which surprised me most,
        They remained there all the same.

      I dreamt the swell mob was there in a band
        With thieves of every degree,
      And with skill that no police could withstand,
        They picked all the pockets of we.
      And I dreamt that one of the scampish host
        To grab the Koh-i-Noor came;
      But I found when I woke, which surprised me most,
        It was safe there all the same.

  _Punch._ June 14, 1851.

                     ――――

            LORD BROUGHAM’S DREAM.

“The foul, the false charge, that I have changed a single
opinion.”――_Vicar of Bray_.

      I dreamt that I dined in Conservative halls,
        With Peel and the Duke at my side;
      That I went like their shadow, to morning calls,
        To concerts, the club, or the ride.
      And seldom or never to meet, did I seem,
        With a Whig or a Radical name;
      And yet――the most curious part of my dream――
        My opinions were still the same!

      And I dreamt of a Chancellor (strangely, of course,
        For my senses were running a rig,)
      Who said that “Persuasion was better than force,”
        As he dazzled my eyes with his wig.
      “Oh, beautiful wig!” thought I, “could I for thee
        Turn this coat? Ay, or part with my name?”
      And yet――the most wonderful matter to me――
        My opinions were still the same!

  _Punch._ April 13, 1844.

                     ――――

                    BALLAD.

      I dreamt that I sat in the House of Lords,
        As Monteagle spoke at my side,
      And into that sleep which his tone affords
        I did imperceptibly glide.
      There were lions too many to count――a host
        Of creatures I knew not by name;
      And I also dreamt――which puzzled me most――
        That the figures were all the same.

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Opening the text

General

Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV

Parodies

I dreamt that footmen raised their hand,
        And knock’d to a high degree,
      With a noise few porters’ ears could withstand,
        But they wasted it all on me,
      I dreamt that one of the noisy host
        Came forth and bawl’d my name;
      But I also dreamt that fast as a post
        I slept there all the same.
        I slept there all the same.

From _George Cruikshank’s Table Book_. Edited by Gilbert Abbot à
Beckett.

                     ――――

  THE ALARMIST’S DREAM ABOUT THE GREAT EXHIBITION.

      I dreamt that I stood in the Crystal Halls,
        With Chartists and Reds at my side,
      And that all who assembled in those glass walls,
        Came there the contents to divide.
      Of riches too great to count it could boast,
        And jewels of world-wide fame;
      But I found, when I woke, which surprised me most,
        They remained there all the same.

      I dreamt the swell mob was there in a band
        With thieves of every degree,
      And with skill that no police could withstand,
        They picked all the pockets of we.
      And I dreamt that one of the scampish host
        To grab the Koh-i-Noor came;
      But I found when I woke, which surprised me most,
        It was safe there all the same.

  _Punch._ June 14, 1851.

                     ――――

            LORD BROUGHAM’S DREAM.

“The foul, the false charge, that I have changed a single
opinion.”――_Vicar of Bray_.

      I dreamt that I dined in Conservative halls,
        With Peel and the Duke at my side;
      That I went like their shadow, to morning calls,
        To concerts, the club, or the ride.
      And seldom or never to meet, did I seem,
        With a Whig or a Radical name;
      And yet――the most curious part of my dream――
        My opinions were still the same!

      And I dreamt of a Chancellor (strangely, of course,
        For my senses were running a rig,)
      Who said that “Persuasion was better than force,”
        As he dazzled my eyes with his wig.
      “Oh, beautiful wig!” thought I, “could I for thee
        Turn this coat? Ay, or part with my name?”
      And yet――the most wonderful matter to me――
        My opinions were still the same!

  _Punch._ April 13, 1844.

                     ――――

                    BALLAD.

      I dreamt that I sat in the House of Lords,
        As Monteagle spoke at my side,
      And into that sleep which his tone affords
        I did imperceptibly glide.
      There were lions too many to count――a host
        Of creatures I knew not by name;
      And I also dreamt――which puzzled me most――
        That the figures were all the same.

Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.

Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV

Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV

No reviews yet