Seated one day in her carriage, She was lounging well back at her ease, And her fingers wandered idly, In her pocket for her keys. She thought――as the bunch was missing, In her wardrobe it must be, So she struck one note of discord, Like the sound of a big, big D. Like the sound of a big, big D. She thought of the sweet little trinkets, Whose loss she would sadly mourn, Then she thought of her frocks and mantles, Some of which she had not yet worn. She thought of her precious diamonds, She thought of the square plate-chest, For at home, in that large old wardrobe, She kept everything she possess’d. Then she thought of the sweet love letters, Received with many a ruse, Then she suddenly thought that the servants Those letters would surely peruse. Then she thought, with a feeling of horror! That the neighbours would surely be shown, A piece of black hair neatly plaited, Which was not exactly her own. So she dived to the bottom of her carriage, Turned the matting all upside down, Then she dived beneath the cushions, And the lining of her green silk gown. She dived in the depths of her mantle, And into her muff dived she, But only at home in her wardrobe, Would be found that lost, lost key! ――――:o:―――― ’TWAS ONLY A YEAR AGO, LOVE. (Music by F. Paolo Tosti.) It came with the merry May, love, That neat little billet doux, And I much regret to say, love, The measles and rates came too: The passion may fade away, love, But the rates I shall always owe. ’Twas only a year ago, love, Only a year ago! It came with the merry May, love, That tip for the big event; I shall ne’er forget the day, love, I plank’d on my ev’ry cent. But the animal stopped to sneeze, love, Which much increas’d my woe, ’Twas absolutely last, love, Only a year ago! It came with the merry May, love, That big furniture van, It took all my goods away, love, It thwarted my fondest plan. I thought I could shoot the moon, love, But destiny grunted “No”; They were there a bit too soon, love, Only a year ago! It came with the merry May, love. That beautiful big black eye, The kick I received for aye, love, Will live in my memory, And oh! I have got such a bruise, love, I regret I’m unable to show, I have to stand up to my meals, love, Though it’s over a year ago.