Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. IV
Parodies
A betting-book he’d started,
When next this youth I saw;
And hourly he was lounging at
Some Betting-office door;
Or standing treat to stable-boys,
With a “weed” between his lips,
And listening to their sage discourse
Of “great events” and “tips.”
He told me then he stood to win
A fi’ pun’ note or two,
Upon a “certain” prophecy――
I doubt if it came true.
And once again I see this youth,
No betting-book is there:
The prison scissors close have cropped
His once luxuriant hair.
They tell that “cleaned” completely “out,”
He closed his short career
By bolting with his master’s till,
When “settling” time drew near.
I see him shipped――the Government
His passage out will pay:
And at some penal settlement,
He’ll spend his Settling Day.
_Punch._
――――
THREE VISIONS OF ONE HEAD.
She wore a wreath of roses
The night that first we met;
Her lovely face was smiling,
Beneath her curls of Jet.
Her curls of jetty brightness,
Were charmingly in tone,
With the colour on her features,
For the hue was Nature’s own.
I saw her but a moment,
Yet methinks I see her now;
With the hair that Nature gave her,
Above her snowy brow.
A head of Paris fashion
When next we met, she wore;
The expression of her features,
Was sharper than before.
And standing by her side was one,
Who seemed to give her pain,
As he rubbed the reddening fluid on
What should have held a brain.
I saw her but a moment,
Yet methinks I see her now,
With the barber’s nasty liquid,
Smeared on her snowy brow.
And once again I met her,
No radiant locks were there;
An unmistaken wig she wore
Instead of lovely hair.
She weeps in silent solitude,
Because she looks so queer!
The barber’s poison has destroyed
Her hair from ear to ear.
I saw her but a moment,
Nor want to see her now,
With those ugly proofs of folly
Above her snowy brow.
SHIRLEY BROOKS. 1866.
――――
HE WORE A PAIR OF “MITTENS.”[7]
He wore a pair of “mittens,”
That day when first we met,
His stony face was smiling
As on himself he bet;
He stood with saucy firmness,
Or danced upon his feet,
In token of a confidence
That had not known defeat.
I saw him but a moment,
Yet methinks I see him now,
With his hands well up for boxing,
All eager for the row.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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