How I loved thee, my Bright One! I wrench in remorse, My hands from my coat-tail and wring ’em: “Why did not I, why, as a matter of course, When I purchas’d thee, purchase a Gingham!” CHARLES STUART CALVERLEY. (_This poem is a double acrostic._) ―――― THE RINK HAD BEEN WASHED. The rink had been washed, just washed in a shower, Where Mary and Charley did skate, While plentiful moisture enveloped the bower, Where to rest or to flirt they would wait. The eaves were all dripping――my spirits did sink, For it seemed to a sensible view, That it was not at all a good day for a rink, Save perhaps for a venturesome few. But they would go and skate, unfit though it was, And cut figures so neat and so round, When in turning round sharply, too sharply, alas! They slipped and then――fell to the ground. And such, I exclaimed, is the result of a whim, That might, could, and should have been saved, Regardless of falling and breaking a limb, They brave what should ne’er have been braved. Had the rain kept away, or their speed had been less, They ne’er would have tumbled at all, But the figure that’s cut without skill or address, May be followed perhaps by a fall. A. W. MACKENZIE (Author of _Idyls of the Rink_.) From _Mirth_, edited by H. J. Byron. May 1878. ―――― THE ROSE AND THE BUCKETS. One day, old George Rose, in a fit of finance Saw, or thought that he saw, in two buckets, The two gasping nations of England and France, Not worth by their warfare three ducats. * * * * * This is the first of five verses of an old political parody, which originally appeared in _The Morning Chronicle_, but was afterwards republished in _The Spirit of the Public Journals_ for 1812. (Volume XVI.) ――――:o:―――― MARY ANDERSON.[69] (_A parody of Cowper’s lines “To Mary.”_) She came; she trod our English land: A masterpiece from Phidias’ hand―― Antique and classical and grand Looked Mary. And mashers flew the maid to greet, Leaving the playhouse o’er the street, And Nelly of the twinkling feet, For Mary. In vain for one sweet smile they sued, She thought their conduct very rude; You see that something of a prude Is Mary. Though titled splendour bade her come And share the festive “kettledrum,” Nothing could tempt the maid to roam―― Unless a Bishop was “at home” To Mary. Said Britain’s Heir, “She’ll not refuse If I should seek to introduce Myself to this dramatic Muse―― Miss Mary.”