For none was for the City, Though all “managed” its estates; And the Liveries robbed the poor man, And the Council jobbed the rates. Most trusts were misdirected, And endowments misapplied, When Harcourtius and Firthius Stood out boldly side by side. Stout Firthius sprang on Auceps, And in a moment’s space He hurled, with crushing ardour, A Blue-book in his face, He saw, too, McArturus, With soup-nerved vengeance burn, And with one shot upset him, Fired from a new “Return.” Then Cardenus of Barum, On Gee-o-Emius rushed; Cardenus, who, neath cab or ’bus So frequently is crushed; And Gee-O-Emius met his dash With a compelling frown, Then, with a force like Pickford’s van, Bore his assailant down. ’Twas Firthius smote down Luskus, Statistics laid him low; And to Cottoniensis’ heart Harcourtius sent a blow; Owdenus muttered curses, And ’midst the rising din Was heard the voice of him who sits For Farringdon Within. But hark, they cry, “Randolphus!” And ’midst a deep’ning roar The spry “Quaternian” leader Sprang out upon the floor. He smiled at those before him, A smile serenely sly; He eyed the Bumbles near him, And scorn was in his eye. Quoth he, “In my existence I never yet did know So very just a measure, So very mean a foe, The City Corporation! Bah! tell me what is that? A mass of vulgar ignorance, Of fussiness and fat!” Then, snatching up a Blue-book, He turned him left and right, And hurled most damning extracts With all his well-known might! ’Twas vain for poor Northcotus To shrewishly protest; In vain for Sclater-Boothius To beat his massive chest. And when the perky Crossius To Bumble brought his aid, ’Twas fun to see how quickly he Upon his back was laid. Meantime, the “whips” their office Persistently had plied, And all the air was vocal With cries of “‘vide,’ ‘vide,’ ‘vide!” With one more bound Harcourtius At Auceps sternly leapt, Then like a stream that bursts its banks, In currents twain the rival ranks. On to the lobbies swept. * * * * * No sound of joy or sorrow Rose from the crowded floor, But friends and foes in mute surmise, With parted lips and straining eyes, Stood gazing at the door, And when, from ’mongst the members That surged about the Bar, They saw the Liberal Whips appear, There rose a most stupendous cheer, Repeated near and far.