Jack and Gill came down the hill Upon a Humber tandem, Jack turned round to Gill and frowned, “Eugh!” you don’t understand ’em Put up your feet, stick to your seat, I’m going to do a ‘flyer,’ For goodness sake don’t touch the brake. We’re spilt! oh Jeremyur! _Wheeling Annual._ 1885. ――――:o:―――― QUESTIONS FOR SIR CHARLES. O where, O where, are your little wee dogs, O where are they gone, Sir C.? Says Chawles “Down in Surrey, They fled in a hurry, And never came back to me,” And where, O where, were your merry men gone That people should murdered be? “O, my men were ‘all there,’ In Trafalgar Square, Looking most militaree.” But Chawlie, O Chawlie, where were you? Why didn’t you travel down E.? “I was up to my eyes In a Christmas Prize Composition for Newnes’s _T. B._” COCK WARREN. Who killed Cock Warren? “I,” said the gin distiller; “I’m the tyrant killer, I killed Cock Warren.” Who killed Cock Warren? “I,” said the _Pall Mall_; “I set him up as well, Then I killed Cock Warren.” Who killed Cock Warren? “I,” said Mr. Graham, “I’m the hound to bay ’em; I killed Cock Warren.” Who killed Cock Warren? “We,” said the people; “Clash the bells in the steeple; We killed Cock Warren.” H. W. M. AN EPITAPH. Here lies Sir CHARLES WARREN, Formerly Chief Commissioner of Metropolitan Police. During his Tenure of Office He Lectured on the Holy Land, And Trampled Under his Feet Our Free and ancient laws, Daily insulting the law-abiding people of London. Contrary to the Regulations of the Service He wrote an article in _Murray’s Magazine_, The grammar of which was shaky, And the spelling of which is said to have been corrected By the Printer’s Devil. He resigned rather than submit to Merited censure. Forbear, pious reader, To spit upon his tomb, For though his actions were despotic, His resignation brought joy and gladness To the homes of thousands. “_When the wicked perish there is shouting._” From _The Star_. November, 1888. Just after the resignation of Sir C. Warren as Chief Commissioner of the London Police, much to the delight of the London people. ――――:o:――――