What is it to Cadets gives pleasure? What is it occupies their leisure? What do they deem the greatest treasure? My Hookah. Say――what makes Decency wear sable? What makes each would-be nabob able To cock his legs upon the table? My Hookah. What is it (trust me, I’m not joking, Tis truth――altho’, I own, provoking) That sets e’en Indian _belles_ a smoking? My Hookah. What is it――whensoe’er we search In ev’ry place;――_except the Church_, That leaves sweet converse in the lurch? My Hookah. But hold my Muse――for shame for shame―― One question ere you smoking blame―― _What is it gives your book a name?_ My Hookah. My fault I own――my censure ends; Nay more――I’ll try to make amends, Who is the _safest_ of all friends? My Hookah. Say who? or what retains the power, When fickle Fortune ’gins to lour, To solace many a lonely hour? My Hookah. When death-like dews and fogs prevailing In Pinnace or in Budg’-row sailing, What is it that prevents our ailing? My Hookah. When we’re our skins with claret soaking, And heedless wits their friends are joking, _Which_ friend will stand the _greatest smoking_? My Hookah. By what――(nay, answer at your ease, While pocketing our six rupees)―― By what d’ye mean the town to please? My Hookah. From MY HOOKAH; or, _The Stranger in Calcutta_. Being a collection of Poems by an Officer. Calcutta: Greenway and Co., 1812. ―――― A PINCH OF SNUFF. With mind or body sore distrest, Or with repeated cares opprest, What sets the aching heart at rest? A pinch of snuff! Or should some sharp and gnawing pain Creep round the noddle of the brain, What puts all things to rights again? A pinch of snuff! When speech and tongue together fail, What helps old ladies in their tale, And adds fresh canvass to their sail? A pinch of snuff! Or when some drowsy parson prays, Or still more drowsy people gaze, What opes their eyelids with amaze? A pinch of snuff! A comfort which they can’t forsake, What is it some would rather take, Than good roast beef, or rich plum cake? A pinch of snuff! What warms without a conflagration, Excites without intoxication, And rouses without irritation? A pinch of snuff! Then let us sing in praise of snuff! And call it not such “horrid stuff,” At which some frown, and others puff, And seem to flinch