Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. VI
General
Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. VI
Parodies
“Fine fellows,” say the Colonists, “you’re industrious and you’re
steady,
How powerful are your toil-task’d limbs, your minds so strong and
ready!
We have full many a splendid spot in our new-promis’d land,
Such soil,――so water’d,――timber’d too, soliciting your hand.”
“We thank you, liberal Colonists, for what you’re pleased to proffer,
We’re busy now,――another day we’ll listen to your offer.”
V.
The Colonists are waiting still, they prowl about their beach,
For well they guess some English dupes will come within their reach;
So they conjure up some Siren song, and have it put in print,
And rub their hands, and slap their thighs, at folks believing in’t:
They fabricate long letters home――from settlers well-to-do,
All season’d high with luring lies, so couched to seem quite true;
“Here capital must multiply, wealth waits each working clan,
Here is――Eutopia itself, aye,――Paradise for man.”
VI.
Alas! alas! how very soon some too-confiding men,
Hearken to the seductive words said o’er and o’er again:
With home――they discontented grow, fancy――a fairer land,
Air-castles build in promis’d scenes, with wealth that courts the
hand;
Seas cross’d――the colony must now for ever hold them fast.
Fresh Colonists are old one’s game, who pluck them great and small,
Gloat o’er their brethren――victimized, sore struggling, one and all.
VIII.
And now, ye English, old and young, who may this story read,
To tales from coves――of distant shores, I pray you ne’er give heed;
Unto the crafty Colonist, close heart, and ear, and eye,
And heed this version of the tale of “The Spider and the Fly.”
From _Emigration Realised_, a poem, &c., by S. C. C. (_i.e._ Chase),
London. Saunders & Otley, 1855.
――――
THE SONG OF THE BANK DIRECTOR.
“Will you walk into my parlour?” said the spider to the fly!
“Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy.
“You’ve only got to pop your head just inside of the door,
“You’ll see so many curious things you never saw before”
“Will you let me see your pocket?” said the spider to the fly!
“To handle your bright gold I’ve a great curiosity.”
Said the fly, “If once you’d hold of it, a wager I would lay
“Of ten to one you very soon would take it all away.”
“What handsome purse, what lots of cash!” quoth spider to the fly.
“If I had so much money, some nice Bank shares I would buy.
“Look here!” And here he ope’d a safe, and said, “Dear fly, just see
“These lovely shares, big divs., and unlim’d liability.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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