’Twas at the Royal Comedy (where none But friends of Hender_son_ Were let to pass the gate On first night held in state) This week A. H. got “done.” The folks therein on Monday found Had had free passes to that spot renowned (There was no money’s jingling sound). The gentle Farnie stood aside, And all the preparations eyed With all a mighty author’s pride. And then they cried――that peerless pair “None but our friends, None but our friends, Shall see _our_ first nights, we declare.” Van Biene, placed on high, Amid his tuneful quire (All wearing swallow-tail attire) ’Gan wave his bâton by-and-by His comrades to inspire. Anon commenced to play (A comic opera, let me say, Penned some time back in Paris gay), And first the “house” did to applause give vent, As up the curtain went. Stalls, boxes, pit, and gallery soon expressed Their joy when Florence entered sweetly dressed. She charmed them by her voice’s flute-like sound; But later, on the crawling snakes they frowned,―― _That_ exhibition they disgusting found. Their whispered sneer Did Alec hear. But like a god, Assumed to nod As though he felt no fear. The praises of pale ale anon the chords sung. But, strange to say, no sounds of “Encore!” rung. When Leslie through his teeth ’gan hum His pretty air――it worried some. The Song too of the “Steak” Did not applause awake. That lyric, like the rest, in rhythm was so rum. For Farnie to the wings had flung All rules for writing verse ’twas plain, Mostly halting was his measure; (Let him mend it, at his leisure). When a measure Gives no pleasure It is apt to give you pain! The company worked hard, in vain, But dull and duller grew the strain, And no finale was a “go”――no, weaker did it wane. Then Alec heard the hiss arise Among the “friends” he used to prize. Even the Jingo gags they guyed And H. B. Farnie did deride. A most unequal muse Had Audran stooped to choose. Then Alexander, great and good, Began his teeth to grate―― Galling, galling, galling, galling, Galling was his sorry state, Dismayed, abashed, he stood, Deserted all at once was he By those whom he admitted free, “What! hissed by deadheads!” Alec cried; “What, by my own packed house defied!” Then D’Albertson, the smart and the sedate (With rich moustache with curlèd ends), Said Farnie could not take a call―― “Yah! we don’t want him!” cried the “friends”―― “Ugh! good job too!” did others bawl. * * * * *