No, Joseph Chamberlain, near Premier, no. _You_ promise Gladstone quarter? Not for Joe. Perpend this allegory――pauca verba. A vagrom Viper, latitans in herba, Seeing a grand old Mongoose passing, cried, “Come, let’s be amicable――side by side Excogitate alliance――great and good, Rule the whole roast, dukes of this wandering wood.”―― “With pleasure,” put in t’other. While they went En camarade, ostensibly content, Serpens, observing all associates own Obedience to his brother-beast alone, Waxed parlous wrath, within adumbrate Vale Bit unsuspecting Mongoose sharp on tail. “Excuse me Sir,” rejoinder came unshaken, “Meseems such step’s _thaumaston hôs_ mistaken. Quid hoc?”――one! two! a momentary flummock―― X (quadruped) sat an Y (snake) his stomach. “Spt, spt――grr, grr――awk, awkrr,” spluttered latter, “You mar my meaning monstrously. No matter. Get off my epigastrium. Make amends. Brr――give me breath (confound you, brute!)――Be friends.” Verb. sap.――What quotha grand old Mongoose?――Oh, Referred said reptile-thing to Jericho.―― Explain? Not I, save this much; then I’m dumb: Snake, Mongoose, Vale, equal Joe, Gladstone, Brum. _Pall Mall Gazette._ March 17, 1887. ――――:o:―――― TWO SIDES. _Browning’s._ Love-making, how simple a matter! No depths to explore, No heights in life to ascend――no disheartening before―― No affrighting hereafter. Love will be love evermore. _Ours._ Love-making, how awful a matter! We’ve been there before; The father determined we shouldn’t――the mother watching the door; Till even the girl was affrighted, and wrote us to see her no more. ――――:o:―――― MY KATE. (_On Miss Kate Vaughan’s quitting the Gaiety Company in order to come out in a New and Serious Line._) Her air has a meaning, her movements a grace, You turn from the fairest to gaze at her face; And when you have once seen her dance, ’tis a treat That _you_ may _encore_, but which _she_ won’t repeat―― MY KATE! Renouncing burlesque, she’s about to enact The fair _Amy Robsart_――I hope ’twill attract. And when thou art gone, who will here take your part, While you’re starring the country as _Amy Robsart_, MY KATE? We praise you as charming, and ask if you mean To give up burlesque and play Tragedy Queen? The Mashers will cry, o’er this doleful event, “The charm of her presence was felt when she went!”―― OUR KATE! _Punch._ June 16, 1883. ――――:o:―――― LAYS OF A LOVER. (_A Roasting, after Browning._)