The Big Swede, who had been raised on a dairy farm in the old country,
selected a cow whale that looked like a good milker, and Paul Bunyan,
using all his wiles of manner and tricks of voice, soon had her playing
about his hands. At last she was gentle and quiet, and, while Johnny
Inkslinger held up her tail, the Big Swede came into the water with his
bucket and stool and began milking with all the energy and skill that
had won him the name of Sweden’s greatest milker in his youth. With
the vigorous pressure of his hands, the whale’s milk was soon gushing
into his bucket with such force that a dozen fire engines could not
have equaled the flow. The gentled whale made no resistance, and the
pail was soon filled with healthful, creamy milk. But just as the Big
Swede was about to rise from his stool the whale’s calf, who had been
swimming angrily about, suddenly charged the great milker and upset
him. His head lodged in the milk bucket; he was bent double; and before
he could recover himself, the little whale had butted the breath out
of him and had spanked him blisteringly with his corrugated tail.
This incident frightened the mother whale, and she escaped from Paul
Bunyan’s hands; the Big Swede floundered about and yelled from the
depths of the milk bucket; and the whole school of whales plunged about
the corral in a wild panic. Worst of all, the first milking was spilled.
And indeed they were the whole day securing one bucket of milk. Not
until Paul Bunyan thought of letting a whale calf suck his finger while
the Big Swede was milking its mother were the sea-going dairymen able
to get away from the corral with one milking. But at last the great
milker limped to the shore with a foaming pail. He was breathing in
wheezes, his clothes were in tatters, and the back of him, from head to
heels, was marked from the tail blows of the little whales. He was the
sorriest of sorry sights, but he had a feeble smile, nevertheless, in
return for Paul Bunyan’s praise.
Babe took his first dose of whale’s milk resignedly and then closed his
eyes again in weariness and sighed with pain. Paul Bunyan’s emotions
smothered his caution; he ventured to express his doubts about the
cure. Johnny Inkslinger immediately ran to the office, brought out his
great soap box and mounted it.
“It is a nature cure!” he cried in ringing tones. “It cures slowly
because nature cures slowly, but it cures surely and divinely! It is a
great cure because it is a great idea, a marvelous idea, a heaven-sent
idea, an original idea, my own idea, and it is the idea that will save
us all!”
Paul Bunyan looked for a moment into the glowing eyes of his timekeeper
and sighed. He did not reply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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