Paul Clifford — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Paul Clifford — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
Brigands and robbers -- Fiction
Oh, what a beast is a niggardly ruffler,
Nabbing, grabbing all for himself!
Hang it, old fellow, I'll hit you a muffler,
Since you won't give me a pinch of the pelf.
You has not a heart for the general distress,
You cares not a mag if our party should fall,
And if Scarlet Jem were not good at a press,
By Goles, it would soon be all up with us all!
Oh, Scarlet Jem, he is trusty and trim,
Like his wig to his poll, sticks his conscience to him;
But I vows I despises the fellow who prizes
More his own ends than the popular stock, sir;
And the soldier as bones for himself and his crones,
Should be boned like a traitor himself at the block, sir.
The severe response of Mobbing Francis did not in the least ruffle the
constitutional calmness of Fighting Attie; but the wary Clifford, seeing
that Francis had lost his temper, and watchful over the least sign of
disturbance among the company, instantly called for another song, and
Mobbing Francis sullenly knocked down Old Bags.
The night was far gone, and so were the wits of the honest
tax-gatherers, when the president commanded silence, and the
convivialists knew that their chief was about to issue forth the
orders for the ensuing term. Nothing could be better timed than such
directions,--during merriment and before oblivion.
“Gentlemen,” said the captain, “I will now, with your leave, impart to
you all the plans I have formed for each. You, Attie, shall repair to
London: be the Windsor road and the purlieus of Pimlico your especial
care. Look you, my hero, to these letters; they will apprise you of much
work. I need not caution you to silence. Like the oyster, you never open
your mouth but for something. Honest Old Bags, a rich grazier will be
in Smithfield on Thursday; his name is Hodges, and he will have somewhat
like a thousand pounds in his pouch. He is green, fresh, and avaricious;
offer to assist him in defrauding his neighbours in a bargain, and cease
not till thou hast done that with him which he wished to do to others.
Be, excellent old man, like the frog-fish, which fishes for other fishes
with two horns that resemble baits; the prey dart at the horns, and are
down the throat in an instant!--For thee, dearest Jem, these letters
announce a prize: fat is Parson Pliant; full is his purse; and he rides
from Henley to Oxford on Friday,--I need say no more! As for the rest
of you, gentlemen, on this paper you will see your destinations fixed. I
warrant you, ye will find enough work till we meet again this day three
months. Myself, Augustus Tomlinson, and Ned Pepper remain in Bath; we
have business in hand, gentlemen, of paramount importance; should you by
accident meet us, never acknowledge us,--we are incog.; striking at
high game, and putting on falcon's plumes to do it in character,--you
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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